I feel like I only write down a fraction of the priceless things my kids say. And then I just pray that the stray sticky notes and receipts and gum wrappers that serve as my journal pages make it.

Here, at least, I know their words will exist somewhere out there in the universe of the internet with google on my side.

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Ethan: Mom, do scientists know when we are going to die?

Me: No, they don’t know the future.

Ethan: Can’t they just look it up on the internet?

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Alex: DON’T YELL!!! If you yell, a policeman come take you to jail and spank you on the bum.

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Ethan: Today at school we had “buddies” come into our classroom to help us.

Me: Cool. What was your “buddy’s” name?

Ethan: Matt

Me: How old is he?

Ethan: He’s a third grader so I’d say he’s 29.

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Ethan: Mom, I’ve got good news and bad news. I’ll tell you the bad news first. I just made a bee in the garage nervous. But the good news is the bee just gave me a warning.

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Alex: Mom, are you a girl?

Me: Yes. And are you a boy?

Alex: Yes, I a boy. I a cowboy.

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Ethan: Mom, I hear people at school say the “b-u” word and the “s-t” word all the time.

Me: Really? That’s too bad. But, Ethan, throughout your whole life you are going to hear people say things that we don’t choose to say. You just have to decide how you’re going to handle it.

Ethan: I’m going to handle it by punching them in the face.

Me: Let me know how that works out for you.

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Ethan: After the resurrection, do we die again?

Me: No, we don’t die again. We live forever.

Ethan: But what if you get electrocuted?

Me: You won’t get electrocuted.

Ethan: So, there won’t be electricity?

Me: uhhhhhh . . . . . I don’t know all the details on how that’s going to work. Ask your dad.