a blog less ordinary

fire! fire!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:23:06 +0100

so ... the other night we went to bed ... we have the problem that our bedroom faces the street so we always need to decide if on a hot summer night we have the window open for air ... or closed against the noise of the shouty people on their way home from a delightful evening of fun and frolics at the pub ... i decided to leave it mostly because i was already lying in bed and couldn’t be bothered to get up and close it

3am ... i wake up to the sound of sirens and bedroom filled with blue flashing lights ... grumbling to myself about the police and how they should arrest people quietly considering how late it is and how tired i am ... i went to close the window and as i pulled back the curtain this is what i saw

what this picture fails to convey is how close this was to our house ... how ferocious the flames were and just how scary it was to suddenly be faced with the feeling of not quite knowing what to do but knowing that it didn’t feel safe ... i woke the wife up so she could see it as well

we watched from our window as firemen struggled with the flames and debated wether we should be escaping from the house

we discussed wether we should wake up our young american house guest who was asleep in our loft bedroom and if the sparks were to spread via rooftops he would clearly be the first to die horribly in the flames but figured as he had jet lag and needed his sleep and nobody wants a grumpy visitor under your feet when dealing with a crisis like a fire it was best to just let sleeping visitors lie ... he had no idea what had been going on and slept right through it all

we were offended that the police seemed to be knocking on doors opposite and getting people to leave their houses but never knocked on ours and clearly didn’t care if we died ... then we decided it was to do with wind direction and sparks and risk of death and not a personal vendetta against our side of the street

at one point i made some tea as it seemed the best thing to do ... what with us being british and there being a crisis ... as i was coming back upstairs i commented that it was a very hot night and that the upstairs of the house was very hot ... the next morning we discovered that the fire had been so hot it had melted the road and cracked some drains so it might have been that we had been sat at a large open window letting in all the heat that had contributed to the stuffy atmosphere

we started to think that the firemen didn’t have strong enough hoses as they seemed very puny compared to the raging inferno but eventually they won and by dawn it looked like this

we found out from the police that nobody had been hurt ... having evacuated everyone from the building they got on with fighting the fire and policing the area ... when they went back to sort out the evacuees they had gone ... the church on the corner had been opened up and people were rallying and making tea and looking after them

they also told us that five fires had started within ten minutes of each other in the locality and they suspected someone had done them on purpose

this is how it looked in daylight

and the police have been guarding it day and night since it happened ... we keep offering them tea but they don’t seem interested ... and they all look about 15 years old so quite what they expect them to do

anyway that was our week ... how are you?

swimming

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:05:00 +0100

i never learnt to swim ... well sort of but not really
it seems i learnt anything i know about swimming by watching other people ... which as a learning technique has certain flaws

for example i was sure that when you watch people swimming in a pool or on a film it looks as if they are kind of wiggling their feet up and down a bit ... apparently not ... it seems that they use all their leg ... well both legs in fact ... let us not add any more confusion ... and if you do use both legs you swim a bit faster than if you just wiggle your feet a bit

another thing that is all illusion is that if you watch olympic swimmers do the crawl they are not in fact just sticking their head down and swimming really fast to the other end they are actually taking sly little breaths as they swim along ... yeah well you may snort and look astonished but that is what i do ... sorry did ... i would take a breath and swim very fast to the other end ... just before i ran out of breath ... except for when i didn’t make it and then there was a whole spluttering floundering thing which we won’t dwell on

and the reason i now know these things to be not true is that i have been taking swimming lessons ... which at my age isn’t at all embarrassing when they close off a lane, put up a notice that a swimming lesson is taking place and give me a float and tell me to make my way up and down the pool, while telling me to either keep my feet together or not or kick harder or not depending on what we are doing

so i am trying to learn the frog legs type kick for breast stroke and how to kick properly while doing the crawl and how to breath all the time while not bumping into the side of the pool and trying not to drown

it is an intriguing process ... unlearning things and realising this would have been all a lot easier to do when i was little ...

it seems my arm strokes can’t be faulted ... seems i do them quite well ... which is just as well because it seems that was the bit of my ‘technique’ that was keeping me afloat all these years

it also made me realise that so much of what we do or don’t is coloured by our early experiences ... my father used to take us to a local beach and expect us to just frolic in the surf and swim about like Marine Boy (oh google it why should i age myself by explaining) ... this would have been ok if we lived in California and had long sandy beaches with warm blue seas and the sun beating down... we lived on the south coast of england and we had pebbles and a sea that was mostly dull grey ... oh and it was cold ... really cold ... a miserable experience but made no better by a father sneering at you and telling you to stop messing about and just swim ... so i would ... but now i learn i was just looking as if i was swimming ... well it fooled him ... and me come to that

we did swimming at school but that was just a free for all followed by the most shivery cold goosebumpy ten minutes of the week as you tried to get out of clingy soggy cold speedos and get under a hot shower before you died from the cold

and i can’t tread water ... nobody ever showed me how ... and when ever friends show me now they explain it as if it is just like walking and how can i not know how to do it ... you know that voice that people use when they can do something and think you are a moron because you can’t (anyone who plays guitar - plays piano - runs marathons - programmes computers) ... so i edge away from the edge and try a bit of waving my arms about while walking upstairs and promptly start to sink ... panic ... and once again lunge for the side

my ambition ... if you are allowed such things at my age (and i confess it is mostly because i hate loathe and despise doing running on a treadmill and i am looking to switch to swimming as cardio exercise) ... is to be able to swim a length of the pool doing crawl then do one of those tumbly turny type things at each end ... but then i would also like to drive an Aston Martin have £25 million in my bank account and be 23 again ... but hey a man can dream ... oh in my dreams i can swim !

the weirdest thing is that i am enjoying it ... the pool is warm ... i am slowly improving ... i can now swim a length of the pool doing breast stroke and froggy kicks

trouble is once i can swim i am gonna want one of those holidays ... big blue pool ... large drinks ... lots of sunshine ... a tan

for now it is the gym every morning and a swimming instructor who thankfully can’t hear what i am muttering as i struggle up and down the pool

... now where did i put my airmiles?

pulling the plug

Tue, 2 Jun 2009 14:43:20 +0100

kept thinking about it for weeks and finally decided it needed to be done ~ holy joes has stopped ~ we might do odd things now and then but not meeting weekly and not taking on any more events or engagements

we were no longer getting people along ~ oh thats happened before but never such a sustained period of decline ~ we had tried everything we knew to change and adapt the programme but in the end it came down to people not turning up

nearly twenty years is a pretty good run ~ considering there was never a plan or a mission statement it lasted well

thousands of people ~ hundreds of meetings ~ hours of laughter ~ some incredible friends ~ and we learnt a bit about God and our faith along the way

now all that remains to be seen is if they are still interested in ordaining the ex leader of holy joes

thanks to anyone who ever joined in
it was a blast and only made possible by those who joined in

enjoy your journey

... a whole arm full ...

Tue, 12 May 2009 18:18:41 +0100

i learnt something the other day and it confused me
only 7 per cent of the population gives blood
which is pathetic
it costs nothing to do and saves lives

i have done it for years and the whole idea of needles and what they are doing disgusts me ... i mean in a ‘go to the happy place in my head’ being the only way i can do it

my blood is the rarest there is so they like it when i go in ... half an hour every few months and it helps to keep people alive

blood stocks are really low right now

i keep mentioning it to people and i am quite fascinated by the responses ... it is almost up there with standard reasons i didn’t do my homework

so let’s turn it on it’s head ...

sorry your daughter died after that car accident but i was going to give blood but i wanted to have lunch with my friend

pity your husband never made it through that operation but i was really busy and never got around to it

i would love to have helped save your Gran but i really really don’t like the idea of needles

they couldn’t operate? but i just don’t like the whole idea of it it just sounds gross

they don’t need your money ... you don’t have to make a lot of effort ... tomorrow it could be you that needs it ... or someone you love ...

http://www.blood.co.uk

take 2

Tue, 12 May 2009 18:04:16 +0100

i have avoided putting up facebook or twitter status because basically i am just waiting ... avoiding looking at my crooked nose ... i was bored with the subject so i figured everyone else would be ... but time stands still when something like this happens ... everyone assures me that you can’t really notice then as they are saying it they look at my face and kinda tail off and stop speaking and their face says actually you can notice a bit

people also keep telling me i will get used to it ... i don’t want to get to used it ~ if nothing else i don’t really want a daily reminder of the incident for the rest of my life

i went back to the hospital the other day and they took a load of photographs of my nose ... from all angles ... i did wonder why ... surely some photos of how it used to look would be more useful

i also had a an ECG which was a bit weird and it was all normal ... i do have a heart and it does what it is supposed to do ... which is a relief ... bit late in the day to discover it doesn’t work very well

i have to go back tomorrow so they can operate again ... they said they are going to do three very small incisions and see if they can straighten it ... i figure the small incisions are so they can use a scary instrument to grip break and tug into place ... but then i guess they avoid saying stuff like that in case people swoon

they called today and asked me if i would go in later which is a major improvement as i i hated the whole sitting around waiting ... and the lady wife is gonna drop me off as i see little sense in us both wasting hours of our time

so i am now faced with another week of not moving too much and being housebound and wearing a nose splint

and if this doesn’t work the plan is to leave it for a few months and then do a nose job ... nice ... their first comment to me was for me not to worry they would put it back how it was .... they just failed to mention it would take a few attempts and take awhile

the waiting game

Tue, 5 May 2009 19:39:03 +0100

i am struggling to persuade myself that it is not me
but then that means this is normal
and that can’t be right

the nose splint was removed to reveal a nose that wasn’t quite straight ... now despite what you might think i am not particularly vain. I am one of those ‘quick shower shave swipe the hair with wax and on my way’ type of boys

i like an ironed shirt and i would never dream of walking onto a stage without looking presentable ... but i prefer to think of that as making the best of yourself ... a clean shirt is hardly vanity

for a few days i kept eyeing the nose in the mirror trying to work out if it mattered, eventually i came down to two facts ... firstly; it wasn’t straight and it was before ... secondly; how hard can it be to put it back straight ... if you are gonna put it back then put it back straight not nearly straight

so because of all the stuff i have had to contend with i decided to speak to the manager who had handled our complaint so nicely and seek her advice

no problem at all she said ... she spoke to the consultant who asked me to come in and see him at his next clinic and he would have a look and discuss what can be done

so yesterday afternoon i went back to the hospital ... it goes without being said that they were running a bit late which meant i sat there for an hour and a half ... maybe they work on central european time ... a nurse asked me to have a word with her in a room

she told me she had suddenly realised who i was and that an awful mistake had been made as the consultant i was due to see wasn’t in today and the only person available was the consultant who i had made a complaint about ... to be fair she had prescribed me the wrong drugs and got me to sign a consent form in someone else’s name but we had only written to explain our experience and suggest they might want to have a word ... they escalated it to complaint status

we discussed what we should do and we decided to get the manager down and ask her advice ... i suggested that if the consultant didn’t mind i was happy to see her as long as the nurse or manager was present as i didn’t feel comfortable being in a room alone with her with no witnesses to anything weird ... all we needed was someone to agree it needed a second operation and to authorise it

the nurse went off to see if the consultant would mind ... the manager then told me how she was sure it would be fine as most times if there had been problems consultants were only too happy to help correct a bad impression ... as she was telling me this the nurse returned to tell us the consultant was not prepared to see me as the complaints procedure had started ... which seemed a little churlish ... if i could over look it couldn’t she ... it was after all her mistakes i had done nothing wrong

so i return again this morning to single handedly financially subsidise the NHS by paying for yet another parking ticket

the consultant is there this time and is very nice and agrees that things are not right and we should do something about it ... he then discusses how he can quite easily give me a local and do it right here ... all i could think about was being able to hear the bone breaking and fighting nausea i did my best impression of a big brave strong boy ... he then consulted with another consultant which i guess is why they are called consultants and everyone agreed that it would be best to put me under and try a different procedure ... i started to breath again ... i think i had managed to fool everyone into thinking that i was up for the whole local and bone breaking noises thing so my male pride remained intact

i am going back next week for another operation only this time they are going to make some really small cuts and bruise me a bit ... nice of them to warn me

one small note to end on ... i found out today that the person who operated last time was the same consultant we had complained about ... now is it wrong of me to jump to the conclusion that it was petty revenge that resulted in her not doing it properly ... if i was to sue would it help my case that she is also german or is that no longer a valid argument in a court of law?

if they can escalate a letter to a formal complaint surely i reserve the right to escalate further to litigation ... ooooo this is how wars start ... ooops don’t mention the war !

deja vu

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 05:49:30 +0100

so i may have mentioned that the wife runs ~ i don’t mean to catch a bus ~ she actually does running a long way ~ i think we are up to 6 marathons and loads of half marathons (which seem to be just to keep her hand in - show off)

anyway all this running means she has to practice running ~ you know in case she forgets how to do it ~ i thought it was like riding a bike ~ once you have the knack you never really forget

and we are not just talking popping out for a little jog here ~ it’s all GPS watch and proper clothes and looking the business

so despite the fact that she was supposed to be nursing me yesterday morning she went off for a run (i was being very brave and dealt with my abandonment issues quite well in the circumstances)

one of the weird aspects of running is that people often make comments or shout abuse ~ no idea why maybe people can’t resist ~ sometimes it is funny but sometimes it is unpleasant ~ to be fair i make comments sometimes but you should see what she wears it wouldn’t be right to let it go unremarked upon

yesterday a car passed her while she was running and a young kid about 12 stuck his head out of the window and yelled a loud noise and made her jump ... he then laughed his head off ... i guess when you are twelve you get your laughs where you can

she saw the car pull in and park some distance ahead ~ when she got near realised that the young person was sitting in the front of the car with the window was open so she went over leant on the window and commented that what he had done was very rude and that if he continued upsetting random strangers one day someone would hurt him a lot

the kid started looking a bit panicked and calling for his dad ~ the wife ran on having made her point

the car caught her up ... slowed down and the father shouted out and asked her if she had threatened his kid ... she told him that she had spoken to him and had told him to learn some manners ... the father than spat at her

now never let it be said that we have no learning curve ... wife decides to leave it ... wasn’t worth it ... she ran on with as much dignity as she could muster

now ...
i guess you can see where i am going with this ...
but on the off chance that the occasional chav moron reads this blog ... chavs reading!

if you set this kind of example it leads to your children growing up into the kind of people who will hit people at the slightest provocation

the correct response is to explain to your child why it is inappropriate behaviour ... if someone does politely point out the error of their ways you do not shout and swear at the person in front of your kid ... you apologise and ask the child to apologise ... that way your thick rude inbred moron of a child might have half a chance of growing up into a useful member of society

as the car drove past the wife she shouted at the top of her lungs ‘hope you have a heart attack fatso’ ... which she freely admits lost her the moral high ground and undid the whole dignity thing but boy it felt good

yes we are aware that this story implies that we have learnt nothing from recent events and yes it may well be time to move to a more decent area ... we hear Tooting is posh and only has the odd shooting

and people wonder why i think you shouldn’t speak to civilians

recovery

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 08:49:04 +0100

i am so bored

i have to be careful ... if i move my head too fast it hurts ... if anyone bumps me ... hugs me ... slaps me even gently ... basically any sudden movement hurts ... moving arms and elbows around me make me flinch and jerk away which also hurts

and i am sooooo bored

i have to wear a nose splint which is taped firmly in place and itches like crazy

i’m not going out because it freaks me that i could do something that breaks it before it has healed ... so spending hours alone in the house not really doing anything and sighing a lot

and being bored

i even pondered the other day that it will be nice to get back to the gym ... that’s how bored i have been

and to answer some questions i keep getting asked

no it is not an elaborate cover up for getting a nose job there was nothing wrong with my nose thank you very much

no it was not the girl that hit me and i am just trying to make it sound over dramatic

i am not whining this really does hurt actually want me to break yours so you can see for yourself?

yes i am aware it could have been much worse ... yes i was very lucky to only have my nose broken ... yes quite painful thank you for asking

no i wasn’t being all christian and priest like and turning the other nose ... i was bleedign like crazy was concerned my eye was damaged and decided that discretion was the clearly the better part of valour and no i am not brave

yes i should perhaps think before i speak but having thought i would still have spoken so nothing gained there then

yes indeed what is the world coming to i agree it is dreadful no they didn’t catch him and yes young people today probably should be strung up and quite high and no i don’t actually read the daily mail what an interesting opinion thank you for sharing your views with me

really really bored

i have learnt to shower without getting my nose wet ... hey it’s no party trick but it is useful right now ... watched endless hours of DVD’s ... had long baths ... stared out of windows ... slept quite a bit ... got bored ... got border ... tried to work out if i am healing

thanks for all the love and good wishes
i appreciate the concern
the jokes have been funny but painful to laugh at
not one single person has commented that they have often wanted to break my nose ... or that it was long overdue ... and the people who have taken care of me you have been very very patient and understanding ... thanks

next friday the nose splint comes off ... excuse me i have some navel contemplating to do

so so so so bored

the hospital saga

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 07:27:15 +0100

the nose was broken and the police advised going to A&E ... so on a monday night at 10pm ... yeah i know should have been drinking my Horlicks

the following account i shall keep as brief as possible ... most of which i have either documents or witnesses to ... and i will just skip over the highlights ... and as i talk to people i find that everyone has such horror stories many of them far worse and far more serious than mine ... and this all said in the knowledge that i have friends who are doctors and nurses and i know they work hard and are dedicated and good at their jobs ... but if these things are not talked about they will never change and never improve

i have never had much to do with hospitals a couple of small things to deal with with over the years and i know that an A&E department is busy and the worse place to visit at night ... even so

so ... we sit for two and half hours during which time i never stop bleeding ... and i am in pain ... nobody offers me painkillers or asks if i need anything ... at one point wife asks for some tissues and she is told the toilets probably have some loo roll ... unhygienic and not very caring ... is it too much to ask a hospital to have things to stop the flow of blood ... i mean people must come in bleeding ... surely

we eventually saw a doctor who sent me for an x-xray - on arrival they said they don’t x-ray broken noses ... they then went away and we sat around while she tried to get hold of the doctor ... who persuaded her to take an x-ray ... so tutting and complaining she did it even though she really shouldn’t

they asked me to return on the wednesday morning to be checked by a doctor ... when we did we were told by the doctor that there was no point in me coming in as they can do nothing until the swelling has gone down and there was no need to have taken an x-ray because she can see my nose is broken ... i could see that and i have no medical training whatsoever

she asked us to wait while she contacted the ENT Dept so we could make an appointment for the next tuesday as it should be possible to asses the damage better in a week ... we waited for an hour and then she said she couldn’t get hold of anyone and they would call me and arrange an appointment

they never called ... when i called on sunday morning found the ENT Dept was closed for the easter holidays and could i call back tuesday

tuesday i called and they told me to come in right away and they would see me ... i asked if it was better if we made an appointment and they said no come now and someone would see me

i sat in a waiting room for an hour and a half and then they moved me twenty yards to another waiting room where i waited for 45 minutes

i then saw a consultant who said i had a small infection and they would give me antibiotics and was i allergic to anything ... yes penicillin ... she noted this ... then promptly wrote out a prescription for penicillin ... which thankfully the pharmacy in the hospital picked up on and changed ... because not having any medical training i wouldn’t have known what i had been prescribed and would have just taken the tablets

i was told i would need to do some pre-op stuff as standard procedure including a chest x-ray and an ECG neither of which ever happened (either you have procedure or you don’t and if you do and don’t carry it out how much risk did you just put me through?)

on the day of the operation they couldn’t find my pre-op information and kept asking me if i had done it and could i remember the name of the nurse who had done it ... no i don’t work here you muppet ... i saw endless people and yes you may well tell me your names but i was more concerned with the pain i was in the delays i was subjected to and the groin swabbing (don’t start me!) ... and besides which does your filing system really depend on stuff being filed under the nurses names or maybe more likely to be under my name (yes ok i know but i keep feeling just a little bit sarcastic)

on the day of the operation the consultant asked me to sign a consent form which she had attached the wrong labels too so it was for a completely different person ... i calmly pointed out the error and she mumbled about having to do everything herself in this hospital ... a laugh and an apology and an oops might have been more appropriate (why is it that when people should apologise they never do but all other times they can’t wait to start the whole ‘all we can do is apologise line)

a nurse asked me again about allergies and i explained about the incident with the tablets and asked them to note clearly that i was allergic to penicillin ... his response was to say ‘stuff happens’

on arrival for the operation we were told that they had no idea how long it would take and what time we would be needed and we would just have to wait in a hot waiting room until we were called ... already hungry and dehydrated i refused and told them to call my phone twenty minutes before they needed me

the line we kept hearing was how the theatre list was a complete mystery and nobody knew anything and there was no point in asking reception because they didn’t know (sub text ... stop bothering us with your petty questions we are very busy gossiping and chatting)

note for medical staff: people have lives and commitments that exist outside of hospital procedures and if you just bothered to supply a little information and keep people informed it would lower stress levels and make it much easier for them to organise the myriad of tiny little things in life like babysitting ... work ... oh and even your stupid car parking fees which all in has cost us over £30 so far because you have to make sure you buy an expensive ticket in case you are stuck and can’t get back to renew the ticket if you happen to be with a doctor or nurse when the time runs out ... never mind that you are charging me to park somewhere that the taxpayer already owns

we asked to see somebody as we truly believe that if you don’t say anything nothing ever changes and purely from the point of view of the risks that had been taken and mistakes made then someone should at least be informed ... we saw someone who took our names and which ward we would be on and they would send someone to speak to us ... despite being there for hours nobody showed up

after the operation (yes thank you went very well and the people in the theatre were lovely and professional and you felt very cared for) ... i was taken to a recovery room ... and told i would have to stay there for two and half hours and no offer to allow my wife to join me who was sat ten yards away ... despite having no medical training i figured i had not had anything removed (well who knows the way things were going) ... i could as easily sit around and recover at home ... the risk was minimal and i asked to discharge myself ... i explained nicely and thanked them for their help and tried to reason that this bit was a pointless exercise ... after which not one pleasant word was said to me ... i had clearly offended them by sidestepping their procedure

i had spent a total of over ten hours in a place (they wanted to make it more like 12/13 hours) ... for things which in total could all have been completed in under an hour ... including the actual operation

now within all the understanding of people being overworked and understaffed etc ... my time was wasted ... some staff were off hand and unhelpful ... twice mistakes were made that could have potentially risked my life ... when given the chance to speak with us and hear our concerns they didn’t bother and has now resulted in us writing a polite letter that they have escalated to an official complaint

the time and money and effort wasted when all that was needed from the very first moment we entered A&E was a bit of common sense ... organisation ... people doing their jobs better

other things we observed during our visits ... large glass screens in A&E that they kept down and only opened to speak to people ... no water available only expensive fizzy sweet drinks in a vending machine ... all waiting rooms incredibly hot ... a Burger King outlet in the main entrance (how much is spent on telling us we are all getting obese and how much it costs the NHS to treat fat people) ... staff being dismissive towards people ... everyone talking down to people as if they are all idiots

it is not enough to play with stats to try and convince people hospitals are doing ok ... actually do something about training your staff in basic human interaction

if you have procedures to protect patients and staff from mistakes and potential harm then implement them properly ... make patients feel cared for and listened to ... inform patients and treat them with respect they have feelings and are already stressed and often in pain

and ask yourself this question ... if a place that deals with members of the public feels compelled to put up signs everywhere saying how they will not tolerate verbal or physical abuse ... which came first? the abuse or the intolerable attitude and conditions that causes people to lose it?

in the last week i have heard of various stories far far worse than this ... but my point is this ... if a member of the public who has been assaulted has their time wasted and is treated in this way it raises the question is this an unfortunate one off incident or is this how hospitals treat people? is this their culture?

let’s face it you are there to treat people ... to care for people ... you don’t exist to produce paperwork or fill in forms you exist to look after people ... start with that ... get that right and the rest will follow

so no i don’t think we have the best health service in the world ... it is not something we should be proud of ... learn to smile ... learn to listen ... learn to do your jobs properly ... you would do far more for the public perception of what you do if you just got some of the basic skills right

and when people take the trouble to complain they just might ... possibly have a point ... listen

the incident

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 18:46:29 +0100

figured it was time to explain what happened properly ... people keep asking what happened so hopefully this will save me repeating myself

i was walking back to my house about 10.30 at night and as i came around a corner a young lad (late teens - i dunno they all look young nowadays) was leaning against the sign on our street holding a bottle of something. He had two girls with him, as i walked towards him he spat across the front of me.

i said ‘can you not spit in the street please’ ... he started swearing and mouthing off and i added ‘go and spit in the street where you live’ ... he came towards me and one of the girls stepped between us and started shouting at me and shoving me ... i looked down at my arms which she was holding and said ‘can you stop pushing me please’

from behind the girl the lad swung a punch at my face ... i was livid and as i went to have a go at him realised the girl was still between us and as i was working out how to get around her suddenly realised i had blood pouring out of my face.

i decided it was probably better to just leave and walked away to my house.

What shocked me afterwards was how much i wanted to kill him in that moment. Adrenalin anger and shock just took over and my only thought was to destroy him. Despite my tendency to be quite lippy i really don’t like violence and would never in rational moments consider it as an option. I guess you never quite know how you will react to something until it happens.

We called the police and they were in our street within moments but they couldn’t see them anywhere. They have assured me that if i see him again they will arrest him and charge him with ABH which is a bit pikey and like an episode of The Bill ... whatever must the neighbours think.

The wife keeps an eye out for a young lad with two girls ... she didn’t see him and has no idea what he looks like and he probably doesn’t walk around with two girls all the time but she wants to help.

One little repercussion was that i was due a few days later to be confirmed at St Paul’s cathedral with the Bishop of London which i had to cancel ... we figured a bruised and battered potential ordinand was not a good look and would perhaps garner the wrong kind of attention ... it has been rescheduled for a different time and place but it was a shame as a friend had gone to a lot of trouble to arrange it.

It has been a bit inconvenient and a little bit painful at times but nobody died.

One comment stuck in my head that the police made on the night ... if more people spoke up and said they found certain behaviour unacceptable then young people wouldn’t get away with this kind of thing. Sadly the lesson i didn’t learn was to keep my mouth shut ... i would say it again because they are right ... if we say nothing then we get the society we deserve