From Where I Sit

What Proposition 8 Won’t Do...

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:31:19 -0800

With the passage of Proposition 8 in California on November 3rd, the state constitution will be amended to contain a definition of marriage in California as being the “union of a man and a woman,” and while there are many who now believe that institution of marriage is now and evermore defined within a context is pleasing to God, I’d like to point out what the amendment will NOT state.

1. The constitution will not state that a marriage is between a man and a woman who love each other.
2. The constitution will not state that a marriage is between a man and a woman who respect each other.
3. The constitution will not state that a marriage is between a man and a woman who take care of each other.
4. The constitution will not state that a marriage is between a man and a woman who are faithful to one another.
5. The constitution will not state that a marriage is between a man and a woman who are able to raise a family.
6. The constitution will not state that a marriage is between a man and a woman who give back to the community-at-large.
7. The constitution will not state that a marriage is between a man and a woman who want to make the world a better and more caring place.

You see, by defining the paradigm of marriage as merely the union of a man and a woman, the constitution will not take into account that “normal” marriages are quite often marred by infidelity, abuse and disrespect.

What many often fail to remember is that constitutions are the laws of man and not the laws of God. As Christ said, “give unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s,” what he was really saying was that God cared not about man’s money, taxes or laws – these are conventions of mortals and not of God. As a dear friend (a born-again Christian in fact) once said to me: “God sees and respects love not laws.”

No law will ever take away my heart or my soul. No law will ever take away my aspirations and dreams. No law will ever diminish that which I cherish. No law will ever relegate me to being something that I am not.

I suspect that in the afterlife, I will be surrounded by those I loved and who loved me. God has no time for those who wish to deprive others of their rights. I trust there are about 52% of Californians I will NOT see in the afterlife. If it were up to them, no one would gain admittance to heaven except those of like-mind and that by definition is un-Christian.

Memories of Nabi...

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 00:59:38 -0700

October 1, 2001 was a very exciting day for Jongan and I because it was the day we were going to meet our new kitten. She was born in San Diego on June 22, 2001 and was making her way up Highway 5 in the cab of an 18-wheeler. We drove to Bayshore Boulevard around 11:00 PM and parked in front of U-Haul and waited...

At about 11:15, an enormous truck pulled up behind us. Excited, we practically jumped out of the car to meet our new kitten. Up until now, we had only seen her photo and had been told by her breeder that she had a very sweet disposition. We had already selected her name and chose “Nabi” because it is the Korean word for “butterfly.” It also is used in Korea as a nickname of sorts for cats (similar to way we use “kitty” in the US. We stood outside of the passenger side door holding a check and a bottle of wine (a “thank you” to Nabi’s chauffeur). The door opened and she emerged - so small and so adorable - she was all of 100 days old...

We thanked her driver and handed him our payment and gift. Jongan was going to hold her wrapped in a blanket while we drove home. We were both concerned that she would probably be a little frightened and unsure about her new surroundings during the 20 minute ride home but our concern was unwarranted. You see, Nabi seemed completely at ease. Perhaps it was that the car was warm. Maybe it was because the blanket was soft. I believe it was because from the moment we met, all we felt for her was love (and she knew it).

We arrived home and again, wanted to make sure that she was comfortable exploring her new home. By all accounts, a cat must be given time to adjust and often will hide when entering a new and unfamiliar place. We had prepared her food and water dishes, as well as her litter box. We showed her to these amenities and then brought her to the living room expecting that she would immediately leave and find a dark and safe place to hide. Once again, she decided to break with conventional wisdom and opted to roll on her back in the middle of the living room floor and play with the dozens of toys we had placed there. After a few minutes, all she wanted was attention - to be petted and then to be chased. We stayed up and played with her for hours...

Jongan had arranged to work from home the following day. Neither of us wanted Nabi to be alone in the apartment on her first day in San Francisco and thankfully he has always had a job that gives him the ability to work from home. I had to go to work and perform my usual 9-to-5 duties. When I returned home, Jongan had some photos to show me. He had spent the day taking pictures of our newest family member in a variety of poses. Several photos were taken as she sat (and sometimes slept) inside of a large covered bed fashioned in the shape of the dog from the Garfield comic strip. The funniest photo taken that day was of Nabi putting her head completely inside of a drinking glass to share Jongan’s water while he worked. One of the cutest was a photo of her asleep inside of his bathrobe, apparently exhausted from the long drive up to San Francisco the night before.

From the very first day, Nabi endeared herself to both of us and captivated our hearts. What we did not know at the time, was that Nabi would be with us for only a short time...

October 11, 2007 began as any other day for me. I woke up to find Nabi sitting near the living room window. I took a shower and she waited for me on the bathroom rug. I changed her water and left a few treats in her food bowl and went to work. I intended to call her veterinarian and make an appointment for Saturday because the previous night she seemed a little tired - definitely not her usual self. When I arrived at the office, I made the appointment and called Jongan to see if he would be available to accompany me to the vet - he said he would. I had no idea that I would be canceling the appointment later that night...

When I arrived home that evening Nabi was not at the door to greet me (and cry for treats) as usual. I stepped inside and looked into my living room and saw her asleep on the rug. She was lying on her side in a position I had never before seen and I knew she was gone. I called Jongan and begged him to leave his after-work appointment and come over. He knew by my voice that something was terribly wrong and I told him that Nabi was gone. He rushed over and before I would let him in the apartment I warned him that was going to see our sweet Nabi in eternal sleep... He came in and sat next to her and wept.

We both wept a lot that night as we sat with Nabi before taking her to the veterinary hospital that would hold her until the mortician could pick her up the next morning. We wrapped her in the same blanket that held her when we picked her up as a kitten 6 years earlier. As was the case then, the car was warm and she seemed perfectly at ease as the two people who loved her the most took her to her final home.

For 6 years, Nabi brought only joy and love into our hearts and home. We received so much more from her than we gave to her. Her love and devotion was unconditional (as was ours to her). She never had a “bad day;” she was never cranky or abusive; she never betrayed us; she only loved us and both Jongan and I will always love her.

Today, my apartment feels empty without her but though she is not here physically, her spirit is here - I feel it often. She is watching over us and waiting for us to join her in her much better home where she can share her spirit and love with the countless souls that predeceased her. My mind is filled with fond memories - my heart is filled with love - my being is filled with a sense that I am a better person today because of her.

We love you Nabi...and we miss you.

A New Outlook

Sun, 20 May 2007 23:35:48 -0700

I’d like to digress in this entry from my usual tendency of writing about things of a social and/or political nature and instead write about something a little more personal and near to my heart...

As most of those who read my blog regularly already know, in October 2006, I visited South Korea for vacation. Interesting that at the time I was quite nervous about going there not knowing what the country would be like. I was fearful that I would not be able to communicate and was even more worried that everything to eat would be seafood (I don’t eat it). However, I had friends there and decided I would venture outside of the United States for the first time in almost 10 years.

On that trip, I met someone who would change my life...

The night I arrived in Seoul, I met Min-Joon Kim and for the remainder of my two weeks in Korea all I could do was think about him. I tried to spend as much time as I could with him and felt a very strong connection. My last night there, I could barely stand the thought of returning to the US and it was a very difficult trip home.

On the flight home I wrote and wrote and wrote. I furiously logged every thought that entered my mind and started thinking about how I would return to see Min-Joon again. During that almost 10 hour flight I made a vow - that I would return to see him and I would tell him what was in my heart as soon as I got home. I did not know how he would react, after all I was virtually a stranger and lived almost 6,000 miles away.

I am normally a very logical person and weigh the pros and cons of every decision quite carefully. As I considered what I wanted to say to him, I came to the realization that everything I was considering was completely illogical. I didn’t care. I had spent 39 years always thinking with my head and realized that it was that way of thinking that would almost certainly guarantee I live out my life alone.

Think for a minute about my life here - a good family, nice friends and a great career ahead of me. Of course my family is small and lives throughout the country, my friends are for the most part coupled and my career would mean nothing unless I had someone with whom to share its benefits. At that moment, I remembered something I was told by a dear co-worker many years ago... She said to me, “No one says on his or her deathbed, ‘I wish I had spent more time at work.’” How true those words were for me at that very moment.

Since that long flight home I have been back to Korea twice and Min-Joon has been to San Francisco. He plans to return to see me in July and I will certainly return to see him again. On his birthday in January, we exchanged rings and committed to each other. By the end of the year, we will decide who is moving where and our goal is to be living together in early 2008 (if not sooner).

Before my trip in October it was as if my life had been set out and I knew exactly what the future held for me. However, I knew there was something missing. Now, despite the uncertainty of the future (in terms of where I might be living), I am excited about it and I look forward to a life that I can share with someone I love very much.

I am writing this to not only to share my excitement and happiness with each of you but to remind you all that life is an amazing journey and all the more so when you have someone to share it with - someone to take that journey with you. You never know where you will meet that partner - he may be living 6,000 miles away - but once you do meet, make every effort to be together and set a goal to ensure that you can share every day of your lives. After all, anyone can live anywhere they want but in our lives we will only have one person we can truly say made us feel alive.

The YMCA Needs You!

Sat, 1 Jul 2006 09:58:54 -0700

I am pleased to inform you that I have again accepted the position of Campaign Chair for the Shih-Yu Lang Central YMCA located in the heart of San Francisco's Tenderloin.

Over the past three years I have worked with the Central YMCA as a fund raiser and was honored to be asked to take on this responsibility for the upcoming fall campaign. The funds raised through this effort directly benefit low income children and seniors living in the Tenderloin. The "Y" provides these city residents an oasis in an otherwise all too forgotten neighborhood. There are countless stories of children who, by using the services offered at the YMCA have finished school, secured good jobs and began their journey into adulthood with something very important - hope. Seniors, who might otherwise be confined to their SRO, find comfort at the YMCA and are able to take advantage of the many programs that keep them active and most importantly, interactive.

I believe that what the Central YMCA does for the citizens of our city fits in perfectly with the mission of effecting change in our own backyard - in our own city. This is an organization whose dedicated staff and volunteers roll up their sleeves and "do." Anyone who visits the Central YMCA will see this in action.

I'd like to invite you to join me in supporting this organization. We are looking for individuals committed to making San Francisco a better place, by making the lives of San Franciscans better. I would be happy to take anyone interested in learning more about the Central YMCA and what they do on a tour of the facility - to meet the staff, the volunteers, and most of all the children and seniors who, if not for the YMCA, would have nowhere to go.

If you'd like to get involved, please let me know. If you'd like to make a contribution to support the excellent work that the Central YMCA does, let me know as well. Anything you do will be appreciated - everything the YMCA does helps make our community stronger.