LARRY KING DIVORCE!

Thu, 31 Jul 2008 11:45:25 -0700

"The historic CNN talk show host, Larry King is reportedly getting divorced from his seventh wife, Shawn Southwick. King, 74, and Southwich, 48, have been married for 11 years. 
The National Enquirer is reporting the pair have had a rocky marriage and that the two were seen embroiled in a heated argument outside a restaurant last year. 
Shawn entered rehab late last month for an addiction to migraine relief painkillers. Shawn should be out of rehab this month, but The Enquirer reports that she’s likely to stay in an after-care facility for a while."

"Wife #7 is history - what went wrong?"

Um, how about she married Larry King?

YIKES!

Who could resist that combover?

Currently playing song: "The Hunter" by Mig on Yamatna CD.

Cats on Synths (Video Edition)

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:08:09 -0700

Some feline virtuosi, courtesy of the intertubes. Warning: Some seriously ridiculous footage follows. Beware of clicking on related links.

Analog Edition

And here are some DJ's....

I think I have a problem.....

Currently playing song: "Souvenir d'agrÃ©ables atrocitÃ©s" by Amnis on Premier essai.

Cats on Synths

Wed, 9 Jul 2008 17:01:36 -0700

With the discovery of the oldest recorded synth music, I cannot help but be reminded of a a noble tradition, that of CATS ON SYNTHS. (In the name of all that is good, you must click that last link at least....)

Who knew that this was such a rich genre?

Convoy even programs the synth for you.

I myself have been known to have this problem in my own studio - to the point of having to take a mixing board in for an expensive repair due to kitty mischief. BAD KITTY!

Currently playing song: "A Few Goodies There" by League of Gentlemen on DGM Live Hot Tickles.

Oldest Computer Music Found....

Wed, 2 Jul 2008 11:33:09 -0700

Courtesy of the Beeb:

"The 50th anniversary is being marked of the first computer to be programmed to play music. A scratchy recording of Baa Baa Black Sheep and a truncated version of In the Mood are thought to be the oldest known recordings of computer generated music.

The songs were captured by the BBC in the Autumn of 1951 during a visit to the University of Manchester.
The recording has been unveiled as part of the 60th Anniversary of "Baby", the forerunner of all modern computers.

The tunes were played on a Ferranti Mark 1 computer, a commercial version of the Baby Machine."

Hear the future of the past here.

I think this is the earliest evidence of the wave that started my geeky gear addiction.....

Currently playing song: "I Turn My Camera On" by Spoon on Gimme Fiction.

Global Food Crisis Worsens!

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:47:31 -0700

More email subject line juxtaposition fun:

Global Food Crisis Worsens! Tangy Pasta Salad!

And couple that with some "meta-irony" - the current song playing while I composed this post has a culinary theme of sorts as well. Though how many lark tongues does it take to make a single serving? Hmmm. I can't seem to locate any nutrition information online....

Currently playing song: "Larks' Tongues In Aspic (Part IV)" by King Crimson on Happy With What You Have To Be Happy With.

Yes, Mars Again!

Fri, 30 May 2008 09:40:41 -0700

Good ol' JPL! There are those who say that the initials stand for Just Plain Lucky instead of Jet Propulsion Laboratory, but with the successful landing of the Phoenix probe, Earth's score in the battle of the planets has just increased by one point - and we are tied with Mars!!!!

Since landing in the Martian north, Phoenix has already had a quite eventful mission. Discovering water ice just below the surface, the spacecraft has been probing the soil with her robotic instruments and testing samples using the onboard systems. But the most accessible results are the images, which come down daily from the uplink.

As successful as the mission has been, there is little chance that the solar powered probe will match the duration records set by the twin Mars rovers, Spirit and Opportunity, still kicking since 2003. The mytholgical Phoenix may rise from the ashes after a fiery death, but this one is doomed to an icy grave. As the seasons slowly change, more and more frost will deposit around the area, finally encasing the spacecraft completely. Though mission control plans to attempt contact after the thaw next year, no one really expects Phoenix to survive the chill....

So as the sun sets lower and lower in the sky signaling the approach of the long Martian night, eventually Phoenix will not have enough power to send another bit of data and will join the other missions that have succumbed to the harsh climate of Mars.

Currently playing song: "Happy With What You Have To Be Happy With" by King Crimson on Happy With What You Have To Be Happy With.

Total Recall

Tue, 20 May 2008 08:58:47 -0700

Between the Salmonella on our spinach and the mercury in our fish, a lot of our world seems to be in need of some fixing. But once a product leaves the loving arms of its creator, what can be done? A recall of course!

So it is with a heavy heart that we learn of the lead paint present in a batch of Fake Hillbilly Teeth, imported by Funtastic of Houston, which exceed federal safety levels.

Despite the current issues regarding Appalachian orthodontia, today's kids seem to have it quite safe. My generation grew up with many "toys" that I doubt would last a week on the market nowadays.....

For example: Jarts! The whimsical projectile also known as GIANT LAWN DARTS FOR CHILDREN TO THROW AT
EACH OTHER!

And I would imagine that the chemistry set I had as a child would not be allowed to cross state lines without some federal inquiry.

Also, to an 8 year old, the words "non-toxic" mean "edible."

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go yell at some kids to get off my lawn. That is all.

Currently playing song: "Crosses" by José González on Veneer.

The Mostest Expensive Cat Food Evah

Sun, 18 May 2008 21:43:14 -0700

So I am our local megamartpetstore buying the usual bag of Science Diet for our cats. The check out girl is having a devil of a time scanning our coupons for a free can of food with every bag. At one point, this total rings up on the register:

$52,742,677,433.00

That comes to quite a hefty cost per kibble, even with the "Better Bargain!!!!" 10 pound bag! Surely there is some mistake?!?!? Not to worry, I am assured, all is well and five minutes later I am happily on my way. I am almost out the door and I notice that instead of putting the equivalent of 72 days of Iraqi war funding on my Visa, she has charged me TWICE for the item that was supposed to be free. So two shift managers and 10 more minutes on, I have a double refund and go on my way. That food better be tasty....

Still, nothing's too good for Las Principessas. With the hotter days coming, one has taken to enjoying the cooling properties of porcelain:

Apparently, the interweb agrees with this behavior. Witness the glory of www.catsinsinks.com:

Currently playing song: "Penelope" by Mad Monster Party on Mad Monster Party.

Mars Again?!?!?

Fri, 16 May 2008 17:08:27 -0700

Oh yeah, baby, and this time we are going for the North Pole!* On May 25, after a voyage of 422 million miles, the Phoenix lander will reach the planet and hit the Martian atmosphere at almost 13,000 miles per hour. A lot of people hope that it will slow down to 0 miles per hour using it's retro rockets, landing gently. This is no means guaranteed: Mars is a very tough place to get to safely, with only 5 successful landings out of 13 attempted so far. In fact this mission is built on the foundation of the failed Mars Polar Lander , hence the name Phoenix (though the mission headquarters is through the University of Arizona in Tucson).

I will have more to report if and when it phones home after a soft landing.....

No word on if this mission was inspired by the classic movie Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, starring a prepubescent Pia Zadora. Below is the MST3K take on this cinematic Titanic....

Currently playing song: "Apocalypservice (or, Jakob Dylan's 115th Nightmare)" by Don McCloskey on Bombs Over Bristol.

Delicious Irony

Wed, 14 May 2008 17:08:25 -0700

Okay, so this is a little late, but consider the juxtaposition of the subject line of these two emails from CARE and BevMo, which I received on the eve of Cinco de Mayo.

"Global Food Crisis: Stay Informed and Help Now.
Save on 90 PT Wines, Tequila & more for your Fiesta."

Still, it does serve as a reminder to count our blessings - or to at least count the savings,

Currently playing song: "Girl Anachronism" by The Dresden Dolls on The Dresden Dolls.

Bands I have not seen....

Sat, 10 May 2008 21:38:26 -0700

Since moving to San Diego, I have not seen more bands than I did not see in the sleepy burg of Ventura. When we lived in Ventura, there was really only one venue in town, the Majestic Theatre, which would attract some decent acts. I saw George Clinton and Henry Rollins there (but not as a double bill). I did not see Queens of the Stone Age there, twice. I also did not see X's reunion show the night before we moved. But other than that, there were only a few shows I missed, since there weren't that many shows to which to go.

But here in the (slightly) Big City, there are lots of shows that I have missed. I have lost count of all the bands I have not seen, but here are a few that stand out:

Rodrigo and Gabriela
Don Caballero
Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's tour)
The Breeders
The Dresden Dolls
Mutaytor
Regina Spektor
Veruca Salt
M.I.A.

And much, much more!

I gots to get me out more often.

Currently playing song: "Recorder Concert" by Telemann on Telemann, Georg Philipp 1681-1767.

Plus ça change...

Thu, 8 May 2008 18:16:42 -0700

"Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose!"

I first became acquinted with Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr's famous epigram via Rush, through the lyrics for Circumstances. I am a bit ashamed to admit that I thought Mr. Neil Peart had originally penned the line, but hey, I was like 16 at the time so I plead inanity.

Anyway, here's what I think has changed and remained the same. If you recall from an earlier post, I have been searching for the perfect auto, but was worried that the form factor I wanted was no longer being produced.

Meet the new car! Same as the old car...

Lyford's vehicle choice in 1993, a 1985 Toyota Tercel 4WD Wagon:

Lyford's vehicle choice in 2008, a 2008 Subaru Forester AWD Wagon, sans lens flare:

And if I may end this entry with a quote from the lyrics to Indiscipline, by our other dear prog rock friends at King Crimson:

"The more I look at it,
The more I like it.
I do think its good.
The fact is..
No matter how closely I study it,
No matter how I take it apart,
No matter how I break it down,
It remains consistent.
I wish you were here to see it.

I like it!"

Currently playing song: "I Predict" by Sparks on Angst In My Pants.

Earf Day

Mon, 5 May 2008 20:37:10 -0700

How did we spend Earth Day this year? How about volunteering at a booth at the Earth Fair in Balboa Park? Great then, let's spend an hour in the car driving the five miles from our house and be stuck in traffic with the 60,000 other visitors all looking for parking spaces.... Happy Earth Day!

It was a pleasure to be celebrating minimal impact while huddled with the teeming masses....

Let's see. Congestion, over population, lack of food and sanitation facilities. Sounds about right where we left the planet last time I checked.

Though the endless pushing throng did remind me of that great city crowd sequence in Blade Runner. We just got the Final Cut DVD and it is a treat for the nerds in the audience. All that we need now was some of those cool umbrellas....

Currently playing song: "Sad & Damned" by Nymphs on The Nymphs.

Life Imitates Art

Wed, 9 Apr 2008 08:34:11 -0700

So I am in Discount Shoe Warehouse (I know, I know) and I come across this little number by BALL BAND which would have been disconcerting enough by itself if it weren't for the image that immediately spring to my mind: Don Martin's cartoon feet:

Of course, the good folks at MST3K had been there already with this bit from the invention exchange in Episode 509: The Girl in Lover's Lane: "Doc Martens for Don Martin."

The bestest part about Mr. Martin's Mad Magazine cartoons in my opinion were his many glorious, onomatopoetic sound effects, which have been lovingly recorded for posterity at this site.

His license plate read "SHTOINK" which according to the dictionary is the sound of a bath towel bar poking an eye. Truly this man was a giant amongst walking amongst mere mortals....

Currently playing song: "Pitstop" by Lovage.

How do I start this thing again?

Mon, 7 Apr 2008 08:34:02 -0700

I was hoping to compose a really profound entry to signify my triumphant return to blogdom, but what the heck. If day to day life can be a good enough reason to get out of bed in the morning, it can be a good enough reason to post. Sorry that there is nothing earth shattering to mark my resurrection....

However, this pic certainly reflects the way I have been feeling lately. There's lots of moving parts in the Lyford Universe right now, though it really is all good and I will reveal more in the days ahead.

That is all.

Currently playing song: "The Ballad Of A Ladyman" by Sleater-Kinney on All Hands On The Bad One.

Dear Intarweb...

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:36:47 -0800

If the Microsoft Research Division had perfected the brain blog interface, this journal would have been updated so many times over the last few weeks.

Really, it's not you, it's me. I have given thought to posting quite often over the many days since Calloween, however the spirit is willing and the flesh seems to be stuck in endless meetings and hubbub due to a not so little thing called work and career.

So much to share, so little temporal bandwidth....

Currently playing song: "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star on So Tonight That I Might See.

Happy Calloween!

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 17:09:51 -0800

Guess who's birthday we celebrate today? 100 years ago exactly this person was born - Cab Calloway, the original hepster, that's who! Allow me to wish every one a hi dee hi dee hi dee ho and a jim jam jumpin' jive, and to all the hep cats a good night! Celebrate the Feast of Minnie the Moocher as you see fit.

"Hep-hep!
De-boodle-de-ack, de-boodle-de-ackasaki!
Hep-hep!
Oh, rang-tang, te-dah-dah,
Hep-hep!
Gonna tell you 'bout the jumpin' jive,
Hep-hep!
Jim, jam, jump, the jumpin' jive;
Hep-hep!
Cats gonna beat out this mellow jive;
Hep-hep!
Beat it out on the mellow side. "

Currently playing song: "Nungabunda" by Ganga Giri on Tribe Vibe.

Rank And Base

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 09:52:33 -0800

Now is the time of year when all the TV "holiday specials" made in the last 50 years get "remastered" and shown on one of the 450 cable channels that infest the noosphere.

By the way, this is the second to last Christmas these shows will be broadcast over the air in all their analog glory. No, this is not some nefarious part of the war on Christmas, but rather part of the FCC's plan to switch to all digital signals by 2009, after which your rabbit ears will no longer receive the Brady Bunch but rather only the remnant radiation of the Big Bang. You'll need to buy a digital converter box to get anything but static. But I digress...

While channel surfing the last week, we stumbled upon a wonderfully absurd (even by Rankin/Bass standards) mish mosh of holiday mythology called Pinocchio's Christmas. This program seems to have been developed on the Island of Misfit Holiday Symbolism, since its a train wreck of different folklore and dhildren's stories. I am not sure what was in the Christmas Brownies at the scripting sessions, but it makes for some pretty convoluted storylines. I think most R/B 3 frames a second animated TV specials are basically half hour long Christmas cards - you could watch them with the sound off, and the appropriate holiday imagery would still flash across the screen in an unthreatening manner. Kinda like the Yule Log Channel, but with stop motion figures.

Still, witness for yourself the glory of Pinnochio's Christmas:

But nothing could ever beat Art Clokey for the most bizarre Holiday animation: "Scrooge Loose." Happy December Dopey's Day!

Currently playing song: "Toki no Koe" by Kodo on Ibuki.

Metasomatic clathrate xenoliths

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 21:51:01 -0800

"Metasomatic clathrate xenoliths as a possible source for the south polar plumes of Enceladus"

Double tru, dat. You may remember clathrates from the hubbub a while back regarding oceanic methane clathrates in the Gulf of Mexico as a possible energy source. Other papers have proposed this as a source of the beautiful, diaphanous Fountains of Enceladus, but for purely melodic reasons I had to quote the title of this more current abstract.

"Metasomatic clathrate xenoliths as a possible source for the south polar plumes of Enceladus" - it's like the linguistic equivalent of a Rube Goldbergian twittering machine. It kinda reminds me of another phrase that is running through my head these days - a song title from Sleepytime Gorilla Museum:

"The Donkey-Headed Adversary Of Humanity Opens The Discussion"

Or perhaps that good old standby, which has even been made into a bumper sticker:

Eschew Obfuscation!

Currently playing song: "Subject of the Kill" by De Novo Dahl.

De Stijl, My Heart

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:15:41 -0800

File under: Nothing New Under The Sun. 11,000 years ago in Neolithic Syria, an artist created this mural in the style of Piet Mondrian. I guess it was his very early period.

I am particularly fascinated by this period of history, the transitional time to agriculture and settlements. Like the Venus of Brassempouy (which has been dated to almost 25,000 years ago), the "primitive" art forms seem incredibly modern. Whatever mind created this work was undoubtedly human. It's just hard to imagine the artist being a contemporary of the Neanderthal and megafauna. Somehow amidst the wolly mammoth and encroaching glaciers, humans reacted by creating forms that transcend the ages. While the world has changed around us, "human nature" must have remained somewhat constant, for these visual cues still evoke emotional responses in us today.

Charcoal, ochre and clay - the media of the earth - have stirred the spirit of artists from the paleolithic to Picasso. To reach across the aeons and spark recognition over two dozen millennia later is almost beyond belief.

Currently playing song: "Banana Leaf" by Shonen Knife on Minna Tanoshiku.