"Listen to me. You are not a failure. You're an extraordinary person. You're funny, and loud, and gorgeous, and powerful. You deserve to be loved because of those things, not despite them. The way that we love you.
-Nico Riley, Lipstick Jungle.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Lift Me Up
I’m just back from a weekend at Anna’s farm. Yet again, it was blissful and wonderful - other than the fact that I was yet again a human weathervane for most of the weekend. I’d really rather not be, all things being equal. But I’m really quite good at it. And the storms were things of beauty to behold. Funny thing in today’s day of technology, our internet was more reliable than our phone coverage, as the internet was via a satellite dish, as opposed to a tower. But we muddled through somehow.
I can’t decide if I’m glad that this summer is coming to a close or not. I’ll be glad if it means a return to health, but there were some aspects of it that I really liked and enjoyed. I’ll have to dwell on that a bit.
Since it seems that no one is able to leave messages or comments here, it’s hard to know if my little musings are still being read or not.
I have a date at the end of the month with my very first boyfriend - from when I was 11 (12?) years old. Grade 7. I honestly
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Send Me An Angel
I’m shocked that it’s the middle of August already. Another summer mostly gone. The parts of the summer that I experienced were good ... but there haven’t been many of them. I’ve been ill all summer, and not with my head. For once, my head’s not been the big problem. Or I don’t think it’s my head. I have to go get some tests done to make sure that the new(ish) meds that have been helping so much are not in fact causing all the other problems.
The ‘intractable nausea and vomiting’ that put me in the hospital for eight days in July hasn’t totally left yet, which has made for a long eight weeks since it all started. I’m hoping for some answers, but am *really* hoping that the answer isn’t that it’s the one medication that controls my day-to-day headaches. Cause that would just suck.
My summer ‘holiday’ started with a sister visit, which was much, much overdue. We talked and hung out and played with the kids and relaxed in the heat. I went to my first airshow and was amazed
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Harder to Breathe
I don’t get “sick” very often. But I’ve got some sort of plague right now. Crazy nausea, aches, fever and chills, the works. It’s not a lot of fun, and it’s got me a bit whiny. But other than having me awake at 2.35 a.m., it’s not why I’m writing right now. And I’m not certain that the ‘flu is honestly why I’m still awake.
For those of you keeping track of things, a year ago today (yesterday officially, by the clock, since it’s officially the 5th now), my biological father passed away after a very quick fight with an aggressive form of colon cancer, before I had a chance to meet him. I still struggle with that. The fact that I won’t ever meet him--even though, for a number of years, it was by my choice--on this side of death, that he took the answers to some of my questions with him to the grave.
In one of those really horrid twists of fate, his sister, an aunt I never met, lost her fight to cancer on the one year anniversary of his death. I can’t even begin to grasp
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Open the Door
It’s been awhile since I’ve felt like writing. I’ve missed the urge. And while I feel like talking tonight, I’m not totally sure what I’m about to say.
I find out tomorrow at noon as to whether or not I’ve healed enough to be able to finally get my new front teeth. It was rather amusing; mom and Mike returned from AZ just before Easter, and were greeted by my gap-toothed grin. They hadn’t realized that I’ve not been able to wear my flipper, and thus have had the gaping hole for months now. I also saw photos of myself for the first time toothless... not the prettiest sight, that yawning darkness. Oh well... I’m clumsy, what can I say?
Life has been good. I’ve still been a bit of a drama queen lately, but fortunately, very little of it has been my own drama. I felt almost as if I’d hung a shingle up outside my door last week; the number of people wanting to unburden themselves was rather spectacular. I don’ t mind in the least; I’m glad that I can be an ear or sounding-
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Complicated
“Compromise is but the sacrifice of one right or good in the hope of retaining another--too often ending the loss of both.”
--Tyron Edwards
“The truth is I can’t be with you like this. I mean, I know I said that I could, but I can’t. I just can’t compromise myself like that. I mean I’m an emotional person. I feel things and I need to be able to get upset and talk about I’m feeling. I mean that’s just... that’s who I am and I can’t change it. I don’t want to. And the thing is you know that, you knew it and you still pursued me because you want something with me, you just aren’t strong enough to have it which... in a way makes you a coward. And the saddest part is that... one day you’re gonna wake up and you’re gonna realize what you missed and it’s gonna be too late.”
--Felicity
All in all, life is treating me really well. I’m having fun and being social and enjoying the world. I survived February more-or-less gracefully. I had another round of surgery,
Name: George
Interests: Music, books, friends, family, swimming, yoga, pilates and pedestrian adventures. The smell of rain, the sound of waves, the colour of trees, the texture of rocks
Location: Alberta, Canada
