Brief moments in my life
Brief moments in my life
Seeing my FLEX exchange student many years later
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Recently, I had the most amazing chance to meet and spend time with my host sister Irina (Ira) Shvets in Baku. She first became a member of my family and a sister to me seventeen years ago. Below is our account of how we met and how our relationship has impacted our lives.
I remember the day clearly when my mom first proposed the idea of hosting an exchange student; she was sitting in her chair by the window as she mentioned to me an advertisement in the newspaper to host an exchange student from the former Soviet Union through the Future Leaders Exchange (FLEX) Program. She asked me if I was interested. It was 1993 and I would be a senior in high school when the exchange student would arrive. Since returning from a short school trip to the Soviet Union in 1991, I had remained interested in this unique part of the world (especially since it collapsed a mere month after my visit). I was interested. Over the next few weeks, we completed our application and picked our student: A young girl from Ukraine, Irina (Ira) Shvets.
Ira writes about when she first learned our names, “Mourine and Jessica Anduiza – I remember when my Mom brought these names written in Ukrainian spelling on a piece of paper. I couldn’t have guessed back then that these two names would become so important for me.”
Ira arrived one day in early August. I remember a young, frightened girl who looked completely overwhelmed. My mom and I opened our home and our hearts to Ira. Ira and I would laugh and cry over the tumultuous teenage dramas that took place in our lives. I organized a sweet 16 birthday party for her and she was with me when I opened the letter to learn that I got into the university of my choice. By the end of the year I considered Ira my sister and my mom considered her a daughter.
Ira recalls this year in her own words, “Jessica and her Mom have always inspired me and made me feel very special. I adored their house, I loved my room, I enjoyed the frequent grey clouds over Bremerton… These memories kept me going through some really rough times as I always knew that life can be better.”
Nine months went by incredibly fast. Soon, the school year was over and it was time for Ira to return to Ukraine.
“When I left America my heart was really broken, Part of my soul and my heart remained with people I love and admired,” Ira remembers.
Through tears we said our goodbyes. We had no idea when or if we would see each other again.
It wasn’t until I was registering for classes in university that I decided to enroll in Russian language classes. At some point soon after I decided that I would spend my Junior year in Russia to use this language that I was spending so much of my time learning.
While living in Russia, I took the time to visit Ira and meet her family. Ira’s family welcomed me with open arms and took care of me. They even provided me with a winter coat for my time in St. Petersburg, Russia.
Ira describes how truly intertwined our families are: “Yes, Mourine (Mo) and Jessica Anduiza have become Mom and Sister for me. My relatives perceive them as part of the family and we often talk about Jessica. When I visit them in my hometown they ask about Jessica somewhere between my son and my husband. It has become natural for my mother to talk of Jessica as her own child. My grandma follows all the world news and gets really upset if some kind of natural disaster happens somewhere in the US. She asks me then whether Mo and Jessica live close to the place… Small episodes but they tell a lot.”
When my mom came to visit me in Russia we spent some time in Ukraine visiting Ira and her family. Watching Ira’s mom meet my mom was like watching two old friends greet each other even though they had never actually met before. Tears flowed freely for both of them. We all spent a wonderful week together until it was once again time to say goodbye.
It would be twelve years later that our paths would once again cross. Through a series of circumstances that are truly hard to fully grasp, we met in Baku: I serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer and Ira in her role as a Program Assistant for OSCE in Kiev which requested that she travel to Baku for training.
Ira writes about this chance encounter: “I am not even going to try to analyze the most amazing circumstances bringing the two of us to Baku because it is overwhelming and hard to perceive with one’s mind. It can be felt by heart only.”
I waited at the appointed hour and place in Baku and hoped I would still remember what she looked like. Many memories floated in and out of my mind; wonderful, happy memories of times spent together. Finally, she came out of no where running towards me and flung her arms around me. It was my turn to be the frightened girl. She’s the closest family member I have here and I felt like I was grasping a piece of home. I clung to her and cried. Ira, held me, strong and mature. Our roles had truly reversed. As we spent a very short night together trying to catch up on the last twelve years of our lives and that of our families I found myself looking at Ira in awe. I remembered Ira as a shy girl. While the young woman sitting before me had many of the same mannerisms and speech patterns as the young Ira I knew, she had matured into an amazing, confident woman. Ira now had a career as well as a husband with whom she shares a 3 year old son. She had grown and it was wonderful to see her as a woman with purpose and happiness.
If someone had predicted that Ira from Ukraine and I from the USA would meet in Baku, Azerbaijan sixteen years later after she first arrived and became a member of my family I am sure I would have called them crazy. I still struggle to find words to describe the experience of this chance meeting. However, this meeting did remind and reassure me of one thing: Ira will always be my sister and a part of my life forever.
Ira’s own end to this story: “Miracles happen… Mourine and Jessica Anduiza have become miracles of my own. Thank you, Jessica. Thank you, Mommy Mo.
Note: Ira and her family have just received their Canadian visas to immigrate to Canada. They will be moving there sometime in the next year.
The world is a very small place. This story is a perfect example.
Happy Spring!
Jessica
Ira and me.