We have the privilege of parenting the beautiful girl you see in the picture. She will turn 4 years old in a few weeks, and it is joyful for us, yet still difficult to see her grow up. I’m sure it is much like every other parent who has a first-born child turning four. She is leaving the toddler stage, and she is beginning to be a little girl. Yet, our life is not like every other parent. Our daughter, as beautiful as she is, struggles with daily activities that other 4-year olds have long-since mastered. She is just beginning to lift her feet off the ground, an attempt at jumping, and when she runs she doesn’t go very fast, but she does get to her destination. She still dribbles water when drinking from a cup, and she has yet to speak or communicate much at all.

It is a privilege to be her mom, and it is also very difficult, for many reasons. In my desire for her to learn these activities that normal children have mastered, I find that I place expectations on her that, quite possibly, are too difficult for her to attain. I had a wonderful conversation with someone today, who explained that I can’t define my life as normal, and that it’s okay to look for a “new normal” for my daughter, and for my family.

I barely had time to think much about these words, when today, after lunch, I opened my latest magazine and read the winning essay from a literary contest. At the very bottom of the essay, there was a link to the runner-up, and the essay was titled, “Parenting a Child with a Disability.” Feeling that I couldn’t let this moment pass, I found it online. As I read the words this mother wrote to describe her journey with her own daughter, I felt like she had read my mind, or like we had talked over coffee and she took detailed notes. Much of her journey is mine also, and so, I share this essay with you, to read and to know that, today, I didn’t feel alone.

Parenting a Child with a Disability-Judith Scott

“This child who does not speak, who does not fit in, who is different wherever she goes, is a lesson to me.”

                                                                                                                                                       Judith Scott