THE STCASPP

Do you have a plant that you’re just not fond of?

Is there a houseplant in your life that you’d rather see dead?

Does it just sit around all day, suck up resources and doesn’t pull its weight?

Does it selfishly expect you to feed and water it and it just won’t bloom?

Then bring it to Small Town for the Small Town Coffee Adopt a Selfish Plant Program, where you can watch your former plant die a little every day.

The STCASPP is a poorly funded private organization that guarantees the death of a plant in six months or less.

The STCASPP will never fertilize your plant, and will water it only seldomly, in an ancient method of botanical care known as Survival of the Fittest Gardening.

With the STCASPP, you will have the pleasure of knowing that your jerk of a plant is having a darned hard time.

So, bring your selfish plant down to Small Town any day of the week for the punishment it deserves, and the retribution you crave.

Small Town Coffee is located just north of                     Old Kapaa Town in the Big Blue Building. 

Great Coffee, Great Food, Great Times.  Now with our own bakery!  Open 5:30am – 1pm every single day (almost).

*Small Town Coffee is not responsible for the survival of any plant, nor can it be held liable for any bloom.