My blog

The contempt of familiarity

Thu, 29 May 2008 10:03:49 +0300

You know, it seems there are stages to relationships of all sorts. There’s that first sort of tentative get to know you stage, followed by the realizing you like each other and enjoy hanging out. Even in platonic friendships, I think there’s also this sort of “honeymoon” stage, when you are just enjoying the realization of having a good friend, hopefully along with other friends, with whom you can walk through that part of life. Somewhere along the line, though, you start to see the faults. The annoying way they do certain things, the sparks of their pride bumping up against your own.

It seems that this happens even in the context of cultural adjustment. One thing I recently decompressed about with some of my teammates is that the more language I learn, the more I am able to see into the culture here. There are things that surprise, some in a pleasant way and some in a very disheartening way. You start to understand, in different ways, why there is a DEEP distrust of any authority structure, including ecclesiastical. You start to understand why even Christians of all stripes don’t see it as an issue to cheat their employers out of resources and the government out of appropriately levied taxes... “No one in Bulgaria pays tax on their REAL salary.” Please understand that I’m making some generalizations here.

The flip side is that you ask questions and verbally think things through with other people, and they see the differences, as well. In the times of greatest frustration and disappointment with yourself and others, it becomes easy to think about wanting to give up. However, the Lord is continuing to remind me of my own self-centeredness through it and that I need to “get over myself” and move forward in loving Him and pursuing Him with all of my heart. Of course, a big part of all of this is my need to be in fellowship with Him. As I spend time with Him, those issues melt away and I remember whose I am and the purposes for my life.

Strung out in Macdonald’s...

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:46:54 +0200

(I will apologize ahead of time for anything that seems un-cultured...life is sometimes that way.)

There’s a MacDonald’s in the Center of the city here in Sofia, and that’s where Velin, Vlado, Tisho and I had decided to have a bite to eat for lunch. I thought I was alone in the bathroom until I heard a “not normal” bang against the stall door of the lone stall behind me in the bathroom. I turned and could see under the door that someone was down on the floor, unmoving, their right hand obviously discolored. I couldn’t see their face and couldn’t tell their age. My first thought was an elderly person having a stroke or heart attack. Unable to get a response or open the stall door, I ran and called for the manager. Adrenalin started to rush and “doctor-mode” revved its engines in my mind.

Vlado saw me moving quickly back and forth from service counter to bathroom. At first, he thought I had been robbed or something. When he came to figure out what was going on, he quickly ascended the vanity and saw over the stall door that it was a young drug addict who had just shot up and was unconscious. Somehow my banging on the stall door jarred it open and we were able to rouse him from his catatonic/post-seizure-like state. My mind raced with what to do for him, but as the drug rush faded he started to come to himself. He cleaned the vomit that had come through his nose, righted himself, cleaned his face in the sink, put his belt (which he had used as a tourniquet for his arm) back on, and walked out of the restaurant before the ambulance arrived. Before he left, though, Vlado talked with him briefly and stuffed a piece of paper with the contact information for Reto on it.

As we sat back down to eat, easy conversation eluded us for about ten minutes. That wasn’t a bad thing, though. It was a healthy thing for each of us to be reminded that we are surrounded by people who are dying inside/spiritually. This guy’s pursuit of a high was just a symptom of that...that seeking after something that will satisfy him, but in all the wrong places. I was also amused to think about what kind of a team Vlado and I must make and wonder to myself what the restaurant staff must have wondered to see us trying to help this guy out. Me, with my thinking medically, and Vlado, with his drawing on his own experiences to try to counsel the guy that there is hope. And I find I feel myself so privileged and thankful for everything...for the life He has given me, for who He has brought across my path, for being able to be here and see God working.

New Year’s Eve in Rehab...

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 09:17:51 +0200

From my photo page for New Year’s in BG, you got to see what things looked like last year with Bulgaria’s accession to the EU. Things looked a lot different this year...

When I look back on the past year, I find myself astonished at all that can transpire in a year’s time. It’s pretty amazing, in fact. There have definitely been hard moments, times when I’ve been tired, times when I’ve had no idea what the future holds, etc. But there have been great times, new relationships, opportunities, etc. One of the things I see most clearly is how a year can develop a friendship. I’m thankful for my friend, Vlado. More importantly, I’m thankful for how I see God working in his life, and how I see Him working in my life.

Vlado invited me to go with him for New Year’s celebrations and to be a guest at RETO, the rehab center in Plovdiv where he became a believer a number of years ago. While it might sound like some sort of sterile clinical facility, it is far from that. In fact, the “house” used to be the house for a completely different species...pigs. It can house up to 40 or so guys. The guys from RETO in Burgas also came for the celebrations. RETO is more of a community than a clinic...a community of guys wanting to leave behind their prior addictions, which includes non-believers, but is led by believers. That should suffice for the background details for now.

I can remember other New Year’s celebrations with friends that were interesting and fun. But these four days of work, rest, and celebration were a great second New Year for me here in BG. We helped cook, wash microbuses, clean house, etc. We also had plenty of time to talk...funny enough, though, with each other hardly at all. For Vlado, it was Homecoming, and he was there to enjoy time with friends and spiritual mentors, and to give of whatever he has (from God) to others. For me, it was a new environment, new acquaintances, getting to know his spiritual mentors from early on.

What did I come away with? Some new acquaintances (we would call them friends in the US, but I think I’m moving toward the Bulgarian perspective on friendship), some good memories, and some great reminders and encouragements. My first and most important reminder/encouragement was that of seeing afresh how God has gifted me to speak His truth into the lives of others, both believers and non-believers. I saw God work in a young man’s life as we talked about his relationship with God both now, as he serves others in Reto, and in the future, as he will likely someday leave Reto and want to be involved in the local church. He recognized that God is wanting to teach him some things about exploring what his own spiritual gifts are and his identity in Christ and in Christ’s Body.

My second reminder/encouragement was that this past year was, in many ways, a really challenging year. It would be tempting to become skeptical and self-protective in light of disappointments I faced in several personal relationships. However, God hasn’t called me to that. He’s called me to a BOLD faith in Him that propels me forward to living for Him in such a way that I “press on” rather than looking back or inching forward.

“Chestit rojden den”...aka Happy b’day

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:36:54 +0300

It’s my birthday, or it was until about a half hour ago. And I wanted to write some things down from it before I forget. It’s been a great day for me, a day where I’ve seen how God continues to work in me and through me and continues to teach me things.

One of the things that I continue to find myself more and more amazed by is how I truly extend a privilege and honor and dignity to my friendship with someone here by inviting them into parts of my life, by allowing them and even asking them to serve me. I had dinner tonight with my friend, Mitko. I felt a little rushed because I knew that Vlado had wanted to spend some time with me on my birthday, as well, but I wanted it to be a good time with Mitko. I didn’t even realize until late in the dinner that I had forgotten to inform him that it was my birthday. I had gotten text message greetings and phone calls steadily throughout the day of people wishing well (which is something else I will address in a second), so I honestly couldn’t even remember whether or not I had told him. And since my party is arranged for Friday night, he was thinking it was then. So, when I insisted I had to pay for dinner because it’s my birthday and I have to treat (which is culturally appropriate), he was surprised. He took a few moments to think about it, and then he used carefully chosen words to pronounce his blessing upon me for the coming year. As we talked the next few minutes, he started to tear up. It was then that it dawned on me how special it was to him that I would choose to spend my birthday evening at dinner with him. He voiced his happiness at having the opportunity for us to be together especially on this day and for me to give him the privilege to bless me and participate in my life.

Time with Vlado was equally satisfying. He had a rough experience for the day, as he ended his job rather unexpectedly after a falling out with his boss. His greatest disappointment in it, however, was that, due to circumstances specifically related to his work, the present he was preparing for me won’t be able to finished. All of this came out tonight because of his brother spilling the beans. For me, though, especially in this situation, it REALLY IS the thought that counts the most. To have a friend who genuinely wanted to go out of his way to serve me and spend some very devoted time to making a special gift for me...I can’t describe how great some of this is. And to be able to sit with him at midnight and talk through what the Lord is doing through all of this in Vlado’s life was a special treat for me, as well.

On to the pronouncement of blessings...this is something I didn’t fully grasp last year or at other times, until now. As I’ve witnessed my Bulgarian friends think deliberately about how to bless me, even that process blesses me. The care that is taken in deciding what to say is unique for me. And the fact that there is a desire to do so ministers to me.

I am so thankful to be here, so thankful to see some of the strengths of another culture and appreciate the ways that it challenges me. It’s showing me how independent I tend to be, and that it can be very healthy and beneficial to relationships to not be so independent as I am. I need to learn more of this so as not to seek to be so independent and to really open myself up to God ministering in and to and through me, as well.

“How often do you have to pray?”

Wed, 8 Aug 2007 11:20:11 +0300

That was the question asked to me by a relatively new friend of mine the weekend before last. The key word there was the word “have”. I had started my day by preparing for “preaching” from Isaiah 55:1-3. I knew that there would be believers and non-believers attending, so I wanted to focus on something we all need to hear ALL the time...the free grace of God, which requires that we recognize that it’s free...there’s nothing we can do to earn it.

So, what was my answer? Well, given the context of our conversation that he was wanting to know what makes Christianity different from Islam, I responded that I don’t HAVE to pray at all. I was able to continue to point him back to the phrase from Isaiah, “you who have no money”...that is, nothing to offer.

That said, I have found myself “having” to pray much more in recent weeks. Some of these, I would also like others to be praying for:

--V is a friend of mine who recently heard more about who Christ is and what He came to do for us. On the English hike the past couple weeks, we got to know each other well and have become friends and enjoyed talking about significant issues of life. Please pray for him to continue to get to know who God is and for God to open up his heart to him.

--V is a great friend and wonderful guy to hang out with. We spend a lot of time together, both in encouraging and challenging each other and in serving others that we are involved with. Pray for him to continue to grow in strength and wisdom.

--M is a friend of mine who has struggled with addiction to certain things. Pray that God would seize his heart in such a way that he would desire only Him and would desire nothing of the things that are currently sucking him in right now.

--N is another new friend, recently out of a rehab ministry, who is already giving in to some temptations. Pray for me to love him faithfully and to speak truth to him in such a way that it encourages him and helps him to fight the battle.

--I is a good and faithful friend who epitomizes God’s words in Genesis that “it is not good for man to be alone.” I struggles with loneliness and really desires to be married. He knows that He should wait on God to provide a believing woman for him, but the wait is very difficult for him. Pray for God to bring other friends alongside him for companionship, for me to be a faithful friend to him, and for God to give him to a loving and faithful wife whom he can also love and serve.

christians and true christians

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 23:38:28 +0300

So, I was sitting in a meeting with some other Christians recently. We were discussing relevant issues of the day. One person made reference to a local Christian doctor. Apparently, she is an OB/GYN (a doctor for ladies, for you guys who don’t know) and performs abortions as a part of her practice. Well, I wasn’t surprised to hear that someone asserted that they were a Christian and yet performs abortions. After all, I come from a region of the US where “most people are Christians”, regardless of how they conduct themselves in every area of life.

And such was somewhat the case in the course of this discussion. Someone subsequently, while still on the topic of this particular physician, made a delineation between “christians” and “true christians”. Remarks such as this, of course, are prone to get me thinking. Soundbites are always good for that. So, I started to think about what delineates a “christian” from a “true christian”. I’m working on my own list of what characterizes a “true christian”:

1) Is in church every Sunday where possible.
2) Always tithes 10%...EVERY Sunday.
3) Would never, ever gossip...but they might have EXTREMELY detailed prayer requests about Bob & Julie’s marriage falling apart at the next prayer meeting.
4) Reads their Bible EVERY day.
5) Goes to EVERY Christian retreat that they know of.

Okay...so, admittedly, this list has a cynical air to it. And I’m not saying that any of these things, when done in the right heart or spirit, is bad. However, I notice this tendency in myself, as well, to categorize a person’s spiritual state based on a few dramatic behaviors in their lives. Yet, while I stand firmly against abortion, is someone who performs them necessarily NOT a “true christian”?

When I was only 3 months old, spiritually, I came into contact with someone who told me--and even effectively argued from Scripture--that I was basically not a Christian/not going to Heaven if I was not baptized the “correct way” (immersion) in THEIR church. I know that, in my acquaintance’s eyes, I was not and am not a “true christian” because of my failure to see things his way. What held me back from giving in? This soft Voice that inwardly told me that I had come to Christ through absolutely NO good actions of my own. That He had finished the work that reconciled me to God. So, when I meet this Bulgarian doctor who claims to know Christ but performs abortions, what do I have to say?