Fibromyalgia ... Day 1

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:37:01 -0500

Okay ... truly, this is probably more like day 157, but it's day 1 of the official diagnosis. I am hopeful that the medicine I have will work and I won't have to play this "this one doesn't work, let's try this one" game ... I hate that game. I have played that game. It's not a fun game.
So, yes, I went to the doctor yesterday and talked to him about the pain. I told him I hurt all over, my joints, muscles, and body. I don't sleep well at night ... most days I wake up feeling like I haven't slept at all. Not too mention the pain my body informs me of as soon as I roll over. He pushed on my pressure points and agreed with my body that I have fibro.
How am I doing with this diagnosis? It is a relief to know that the pain is real, it's not in my head, and I have a diagnosis. It's a relief to know that hopefully, there is a medicine out there that I can take that will at least give me the ability to get something done during the day other than sitting on a heating pad.
Here's a question I get asked frequently: what can we do to help you? A few things off the top of my head:
Be an ear to listen and arms to hug me. Yes, it might hurt, but the emotional value of a hug is far greater than the physical pain.
Encourage me, but be real ... no masks or fake responses, please. If you can't be real, don't say anything at all.
Visit ... but call before you come. Most days, even if I am feeling rotten, I will always enjoy a smiling face at my door. Just call and let me know you are coming.
That's where I am today ... I have taken 2 doses of the new medicine ... it's a building dosage kind of thing, meaning I took a 12.5mg pill last night, the same dose this morning and tonight, and tomorrow, then 25mg morning and night for a few days, and then 50mg morning and night. Hopefully, in a few weeks, I will notice a difference.

Advent-ures of Christmas

Sat, 5 Dec 2009 11:45:47 -0500

So Thanksgiving came and went ... and here we are at Christmas. By the way ... is it really December of 2009? Seriously? What happened to this year? Wasn't it just yesterday that it was December 2008?
Ok ... enough of my ranting ...
We pulled out the Christmas box and decorated the house yesterday. For several reasons, we opted not to decorate outside this year. (unless you count the jingle bell wreath on the front door) But, we have fully decorated the inside ... complete with the Santa wall hanging.
This year, we opted to do something a little different. Last year, we tried to do a Jessie Tree (to find out more about a Jessie Tree, click here to see where I got the idea). We got way behind last year and just didn't bother catching up. This year, I am trying to incorporate it into school time. I am hoping that will keep us from getting behind.
A Jessie Tree is a way of celebrating, learning, and remembering Jesus' birth and purpose by looking back at His ancestry (family tree). A short devotional is read, then an ornament representing the story is placed on the tree. Last year, we placed the ornaments on our big Christmas tree. This year, thanks to Sarah Mae, I sent Makayla (with Daddy's help) on a branch-finding mission to collect a few branches to hand the ornaments on. If you click on the links on her blog, you can get your own devotional and ornament set to make your own tree. It's a great way to talk about the reason for Jesus' birth and to bring the whole Bible into perspective.
To see more of our Christmas decorating adventures, click on Santa's picture.
One more thing we have added (again, thanks for the ideas, bloggy friends!) this year, and what I have been looking to do for the past 4 years is an Advent Calendar. The one I realllly reallllly want is the kind you find in the Christmas stores that costs an arm and a leg, with the pieces of the Nativity inside each door/window/hole so that on Christmas morning, when the manger is pulled out, you have a complete Nativity set. Not historically accurate, but it's still a complete set.
But my bloggy friends have inspired me to do something that fosters family togetherness. I have come up with a list of activities to do with Makayla. Watching Christmas movies. Decorating the house. Going to parades. Reading Christmas books. You get the picture. One thing we did last year was read the book One Baby Jesus every night. It's a play on the Twelve Days of Christmas, using characters from the Nativity instead of turtle doves, milking maids and golden rings. When we pulled out the books, Makayla asked if we could do that again this year. Benjamin and I, of course, said, "Absolutely!" (Now if Mommy could just remember to do that at night ...)
So, we have an Advent-ure calendar on the door held up by Mr. Snowman's buttons and scarf. (there is a closer picture in the Christmas 09 album) Each little red pocket has an exciting Advent-ure for that day. And the little yellow pocket has all of the ornaments for our Jessie Tree. An exciting little project that took Benjamin and I entirely toooo long to create the other night that will hopefully last us several years.

Well-Trained or Disciplined?

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:10:48 -0500

The Well-Behaved Child by John Rosemond

John Rosemond is a family psychologist. He has written several books on raising children based on his experiences as a psychologist and a parent. This book is no different.

Rosemond covers four “seven” lists that he infers are the foundational principles of parenting. According to the back cover, this book contains theories that “REALLY work!” Supposedly, his theories will end the bedtime battles, food fights, tantrums, conflicts and other pitfalls of disciplining children.

Sadly, Rosemond’s close-minded approach to raising children was very offensive. He pressed the issue of “punish or die” mentality of parenting. All children are different. Punishment doesn’t work for every child. Taking things away from children doesn’t work for every child. Allowing children to determine their own punishment doesn’t work for every child. This is very important to remember when you are disciplining your children. Even identicals have different personalities. Even though Rosemond explains this, his theories do not support it.

I would not recommend this book to any parent to read. It is not founded on biblical truth in my opinion. It concerns me that parents would read this and apply it to their own disciplinary styles.

A Way Out?

Fri, 2 Oct 2009 17:15:27 -0400

So last Sunday at True North, we had a guest speaker. This is a rare occasion, but it was necessary to give our pastor a break. He was there on Sunday, at least in body. But he was TIRED! Wrestling with a kidney stone for four days will do that to a person.
So who was the guest speaker? Andy Stanley. Ok, he wasn't live. We watched a DVD from a sermon series he preached a few years ago. But you know the old saying that God's timing is perfect? Well ... it is!
Andy brought up two scriptures: John 8:32 and Romans 12:2-3. To quote (and hopefully not misquote) Andy, "Jesus said in 1 verse what Paul said in 2." What is the truth? The truth is the Gospel ... that Jesus died for your sin and mine. What did Paul say? A lot more!
Andy put it like this: you have BELIEF, DECISION, and OUTCOME. Usually, we make decisions based on a desired outcome. In order to make sure that you are in God's will, that the decisions we make are in line with what God wants for our lives, and that we will receive the desired outcomes, we need to change our decision making strategy. We need to focus on our belief system.
Change our what? Our belief system? How can I change my belief system? Think about it this way: What is your operating system (OS)? Does it need updating?
Our basic OS is that Jesus is guiding our steps if we are Christians. That is our basic code for life. But sometimes, we find ourselves susceptible to viruses, to lies, to hopes and dreams of the world. That is when we need to go back to the basic code, put everything else aside, and find ourselves being poured into by Jesus. And if Jesus changes our steps, then we follow them. If Jesus doesn't change our steps, then we stay the course.
"What I believe ultimately determines what my decisions are which ultimately determines my outcome."
What belief system do you need to change? Is it the belief that you are in a marriage that will never change? Or that the bills will never get paid? Or the job will never improve? Those beliefs need to change. Those are the beliefs that God is begging you to change. Believe that God can make something happen when nothing seems possible. Believe that God can turn a horrific situation into a blessing bigger than you.
Believe it and live your life as if it will happen today.

Hurry Home ...

Fri, 2 Oct 2009 13:29:01 -0400

Have you heard this song? Whether or not you have heard it, the video will make you think.
Jason Michael Carroll is quickly becoming a name to know in country music. This song is one example of his talent. But that is not what this post is about.
Can you as a Christian hear God calling you through the words of this song? If you aren't a Christian, do you hear God? God calls us "home" every morning. God calls us to His feet to rest, meditate, and enjoy His peace. He is always waiting for us to come "home".
It doesn't matter what you've done I still love you
It doesn't matter where you've been you can still come home
And honey if it's you we've got a lot of making up to do
And I can't hug you on the phone, so hurry home

We are always welcome home at the feet of our Master, our Father. We are all welcome to come home whether we call ahead or not. No matter where we have been or what we have done, all God asks is that we come home.

In Matthew 11:28-30 you will find where Jesus calls us to His feet to rest.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my
yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find
rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

We all have trials. We all have experiences where we think that no one else on earth can possibly experience as much pain as we are in right now, whether it is physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual pain or mental pain. Reality is Jesus experienced every pain imaginable. Jesus knows what it feels like to be betrayed by his closest friends. He knows physical pain. He knows the emotional torture of growing up.

And you know what? He didn't run away. He faced it head on. Why? Because He saw my face in the Garden. He saw my face pressing against my pillow crying through the physical pain I endure every day. He saw your face when you found out you had lost your baby. He saw the faces of the runaways all over the world who think they can find a better life on the street. He died for you and me. If the two of us were the only people on the face of the planet who Jesus knew would turn to Him because of what He did on the cross ... HE STILL WOULD HAVE FACED THE CROSS. He would have been beaten, ridiculed, dehydrated, and nailed to the cross so He could spend eternity with the two of us.

That's the bottom line. If you burden is too heavy, give it to God. If your burden is too painful, give it to God. And by the way ... it is a daily confession. It is a daily commitment. It is a daily prayer at Jesus' feet to give IT to Him.

(and in case you are wondering, yes, I am listening to myself :))

Happy Birthday to my Sweet Princess!

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 10:35:26 -0400

5 years ago God blessed me with your presence. You are my angel, my princess, and my encouragement to keep going in life. I love you forever. Forever my baby, you will always be!

One of my favorites from the hospital TOUCHDOWN! (yes, she watched her first football game when she was 1 day old with her Daddy ... Panthers vs. Packers

A Different Kind of Remembering ...

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 08:49:35 -0400

In thinking of September 11, I remember back 8 years ago being at work and my husband (who worked at the local NBC affiliate) calls me and tells me to find a TV to turn on. A plane had just crashed into the World Trade Center. We found a TV and tuned it to a very fuzzy feed from NBC. It was horrifying to watch what was going on. We tried to have staff meeting and go on about our day, but it was hard. Shortly before lunch, I drove down to Divinity School not knowing what to expect. We ended up praying for most of our classes. We couldn't do anything else.
Fast forward 3 years. September 11, 2004. I was 9 months pregnant. I was popping percocet and vicodin like they were candy because of severe back pain. The Thursday prior to that, I spent in the ER having X-rays and MRI's until they determined that I had a herniated disk and a bulging disk that was causing the pain. But I had 2 showers to go to that day: my own and a dear friend's. I went.
By the time we got home, the pain I had was unbearable. Even after taking double the prescribed dose (at the doctor's request), I was still miserable. We went to the hospital not really knowing what to expect, but hoping at least for a night of sleep for both of us. My doctor was unwilling to take the baby, but she did put me on the monitor and give me some demerol. At least I slept.
The next day, my beautiful daughter came into this world. (To read a synopsis of her birth story, click here) Makayla Grace. A name that would truly live up to its meaning during her first six months of life. Makayla: "Who is like the face of God?" When I was at my darkest, people would bring her to me and tell me that I had to beat the cancer. When I didn't want to endure another chemo treatment, God would remind me through her little face that I didn't have a choice.
September 11, 2009: Tomorrow symbolizes something huge for me. I get to experience my little girl turning 5. Something I am dreading on one hand, simply because it seems like yesterday that she was born. Yet, it seems like a lifetime ago that I was facing a diagnosis that would change my entire world.
I am thankful for September 11 because it makes us look at our families in a different light. We know that tragedy can strike at a moment's notice and it brings us back to where we should be: at home, telling our loved ones how we feel about them, and giving the people that protect us the most an extra dose of gratitude.
For me, September 11 reminds me that life is very precious. Looking at a little girl's face and knowing that she gave me hope to push through ... God blessed me with a princess. He knew what He was doing. And He still does ...