Carole and Sharon met at a writers’ workshop in Toronto. Their passion for writing drove them to create this blog. To learn more about the authors, click on their personal page!

What’s your body language IQ?

Tue, 9 Feb 2010 10:04:44 -0500

PLEASE COME BACK ON FRIDAY!
Due to our hosting site having issues with the “add comment” feature, Margie will respond to comments on Friday, February 12, and will draw the winner!
Thanks to all for your patience! All comments that were sent to Carole were re-posted below. Come back on Friday, post again if you want, ask questions! Margie will be here.

We are thrilled to have a guest on Romance and Beyond today: Margie Lawson —psychotherapist, writer, and international presenter— is an expert on body language. A former college professor, she taught psychology and communication courses at the post-graduate level. She developed innovative editing systems and deep editing techniques for writers.
Margie’s Deep Editing tools are used by all writers, from newbies to NYT Bestsellers. She teaches writers how to edit for psychological power, how to hook the reader viscerally, how to create a page-turner.
Thousands of writers have learned Margie’s psychologically-based deep editing material. In the last five years, she presented over fifty full day Master Classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.
For more information on lecture packets, on-line courses, master classes, and the 3-day Immersion Master Class sessions offered in her Colorado mountain-top home, visit: www.MargieLawson.com.
Margie, the floor is yours!

NOTE: I included a promo piece for Brenda Novak’s Diabetes Auction below the blog. You’ll see my diabetes auction donations – that include:
ν A WRITE AT SEA CRUISE
ν An IMMERSION MASTER CLASS
ν A FLYING GETAWAY
I do like to have fun!
PLUS: Check out the fun cartoon Dare Devil Dachshund Contest on my web site. You could win one hour of my Deep Editing brain. www.MargieLawson.com
A big THANK YOU to classy, cool, and committed-to-success writers Carole St. Laurent and Sharon Bernas. I appreciate being invited to guest blog for them today.
What’s Your Body Language IQ?
By Margie Lawson
Copyright © 2010 by Margie Lawson. All Rights Reserved.
Writers need to become experts on body language. I developed Empowering Characters’ Emotions several years ago to teach writers how to write the full range of body language and write it fresh. In my advanced course, Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist, we dig deeper.
Let’s start with a True/False quiz that I created.
How well do you read body language?
1. Ninety-three percent of communication is nonverbal. T F
2. If people say the right words, it doesn’t matter how they say them. T F
3. Some people wait a few seconds before showing their nonverbal response. T F
4. Body language can only be interpreted one way. T F
5. People unconsciously mirror nonverbal behavior of others. T F
6. If the words and body language contradict each other, the listener believes the body language. T F
7. Facial expressions convey 85% of the nonverbal message. T F
8. People can cover up their emotions by keeping their face blank. T F
9. Lips carry more nonverbal messages than eyes. T F
10. When anxious, people touch their face more often. T F
STOP!
Did you take the quiz?
If not – PLEASE TAKE THE QUIZ NOW!
Ready for the answers?
1. Ninety-three percent of communication is nonverbal. T F
TRUE
It’s a monstrous percentage -- which is why people should monitor their nonverbals. Let’s look at the number one phobia in the U.S. – public speaking.
If you’re nervous you may display a cluster of anxiety flags, e.g., rolling in lips, tightening mouth, evasive eye contact, halting gait, soft voice, modulated voice tones. If your anxiety escalates, your nonverbals become more pronounced: e.g., collapsed chest, shoulders forward, respiration rapid and shallow, pupils dilated, voice pitched high, face tight.
Project more confident body language, and you’ll feel more confident. You’ll teachyourself to extinguish some of these anxiety flags. People will react positively to the new, confident you. Pavlov’s conditioning is a powerful reinforcing agent. Over time,you won’t have to pretend to be confident . You will be confident.
Writers need to be sure they include body language in some of their stimulus-response units. Body language is subtext. Body language on the page is like the sound track for a movie. Turn the sound track off, and you lose an emotional hook.
2. If people say the right words, it doesn’t matter how they say them. T F
FALSE
An easy one. Vocal cues carry qualifying messages that support, tweak, or discount the words. Americans are pros at sarcasm. Watch your voice inflection, rate of speech, volume, and tone. Be sure your vocal cues support your message – unless you’re telling a joke.
Writers can increase scene tension by showing a character’s incongruent verbal and nonverbal responses. An easy way to add micro or macro-tension on the page.
3. Some people wait a few seconds before showing their nonverbal response. T F
FALSE
Nonverbal communication is continuous. It’s on-going. It never stops.
If a character learns something important, please consider showing their emotional response through body language and dialogue cues. If you keep that character thinking and/or talking and/or carrying out some action, but leave out the body language or dialogue cue, your scene will not be as credible. The reader will connect with your POV character cognitively, but not at a deep emotional level.
4. Body language can only be interpreted one way. T F
FALSE
An easy answer, with complex levels of application. Cognitively, people know there are multiple interpretations. Yet, people interpret nonverbals one way at a subconscious level and act on those feelings.
Let’s imagine a wife asks her husband to accompany her to visit her mother, and in the next half-second his gaze shifts away and back, he sighs, and his mouth tightens.
The wife subconsciously reads his body language, assumes her husband doesn’t wantto go with her to visit her mother, and reacts before he can say anything.
She says, “Forget it. I’ll go without you.” Her tone is sharp enough to cut a diamond.
Note my DIALOGUE CUE and hyperbole.
Dialogue cues describe how the character delivered their dialogue.
Her body language -- posture stiffening, eyes flashing, harsh dialogue cues – surpriseher husband. He stares at her, his mouth open (confused) or closed tight (agitated).
She turns, grabs the keys, and leaves. She punctuates her anger by slamming the door.
The husband stands there wondering what the heck happened. Her question, asking him to go with her, triggered a thought. He recalled the car had a vibration the last time he drove it and he wondered if the tires needed to be balanced. His split-second nonverbal responses – shifting gaze, a sigh, and his mouth tightening – reflected his body responding to his thoughts about the tires.
WHOOPS!
The wife thought his nonverbals communicated that he didn’t want to go with her to visit her mother. She reacted with anger. She did not check out her assumptions.
The husband has no idea why she got angry and left. He probably thinks she’s PMS’y.
Situations like that play out too frequently with couples, friends, and coworkers.
People misinterpret nuances of body language and take action. Misreading the escalating stimulus/response patterns of body language, builds conflict.
Pausing, realizing that body language can be interpreted in a gazillion ways, and getting clarification, can result in fewer slammed doors and more smiles.
5. People subconsciously mirror nonverbal behavior of others. T F
TRUE
And so fun to observe—and write.
When you’re in a restaurant, watch couples and friends who like each other. Theyboth lean forward seemingly at the same time. One leads by a nanosecond. They may reach for their beverages and drink at the same time.
They mirror posture, gestures, physical shifts, facial expressions, eye movements,voice patterns. Their body language looks choreographed.
6. If the words and body language contradict each other, the listener believes the body language. T F
TRUE
When the words are incongruent with the body language and/or how the dialogue is delivered – people always believe the nonverbals.
7. Facial expressions convey 85% of the nonverbal message. T F
FALSE
Facial expressions are key, but dialogue cues, posture, movements, spatial relationships, etc., all contribute to the nonverbal message. Depending on the research study, faces carry 30 to 50% of the nonverbal message.
8. People can cover up their emotions by keeping their face blank. T F
FALSE
Faces are never blank.
I’ll restate for emphasis. :-))
FACES ARE NEVER BLANK!
Lips twitch.
Nostrils flare.
Eyes narrow or widen almost imperceptibly.
Mouths barely open or barely tighten.
Pupils dilate.
Tips of tongues show when people moisten lips.
That list could be pages long.
To a kinesics specialist, these are all diagnostic indicators.
To a writer, these are cues to write what I call flicker-face emotions.
FYI: I cover how to write flicker-face emotions, in-depth, in my Empowering Characters’ Emotions course offered on-line in March.
9. Lips carry more nonverbal messages than eyes. T F
TRUE
The lips do more. Watch people’s mouths. You’ll have more insight into their reactions.
Write more lip and mouth responses.
10. When anxious, people touch their face more often. T F
TRUE
Self-Touch behaviors increase when people are anxious. They touch their face (cheek, eyebrow, lips, nose, ear), or near their face (throat, jaw, back of neck, behind ear, hair), or hands and arms.
Self-touch behaviors accelerate when anxiety is high. They are body language polygraphs.
When people are in a job interview, when suspects are interrogated, when a guy proposes to his gal, self-touch behaviors significantly increase. The person who’s anxious may touch their face, throat, hand, or arm every 10 to 20 seconds, sometimes every couple of seconds, unaware of their self-touch behavior.
HOW DID YOU SCORE? Did you make a 100? 90? 80?
Chime in about anything related to body language – in your real world, or in your writing world.
I’ll respond throughout the day as my job allows. I’ll be back on-line this evening. Check back, I’ll be here.
I have two on-line courses (and lecture packets) that address writing body language and dialogue cues.
1. Empowering Characters’ Emotions
ν Offered on-line March 1 – 30
Empowering Characters’ Emotions is the first of my two body language courses. It covers body language and dialogue cues—and provides writers with a strong basis for writing them—and writing them fresh. I teach writers how to write fresh lip and mouth responses, eyes, full face, flicker face, plus gestures, proxemics . . . . I provide lots of examples, and dissect and analyze the examples.
This month-long course also introduces my EDITS System and teaches writers some deep editing techniques.
2. Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist
ν Offered on-line June 16 – 30
This is an advanced course that teaches writers the full range of writing body language and dialogue cues—and digs deep into the nuances and specialties. Writers learn how to interpret nonverbal communication like a kinesics specialist. They also learn how to write fresh amplified body language and dialogue cues, taking them to complex and empowered levels.
Switching to the power of body language in real life.
Writers need to monitor and moderate their body language when pitching to agents and editors, interacting with booksellers, introducing speakers, on panels, presenting a workshop, and doing a book signing.
I developed an on-line class to help writers project a professional image with their body language when pitching and presenting – even when they are scared spitless.
Ha! Scared spitless. :-)
Did my cliché twist surprise you? I bet you all thought I typed a different word.
Anxiety makes the mouth and throat dry. Anxious people really are scared spitless.
Okay – back to my point. If you get extremely nervous when pitching to agents or editors, or speaking in public, consider taking this on-line course or getting the Lecture Packet:
Powering Up Body Language in Real Life: Projecting a Professional Persona When Pitching and Presenting
It’s offered as an on-line class: June 15 – June 30
You can access links to register for on-line courses from the home page of my web site. www.MargieLawson.com
Lecture Packets are available through Paypal from my web site.
Post a comment: YOU COULD WIN A LECTURE PACKET!
For every 25 people who post a comment today, I will draw a name for a Lecture Packet, a $22 value.
Winners may choose a Lecture Packet from one of my six on-line courses:
1. Empowering Characters' Emotions
2. Deep Editing: The EDITS System, Rhetorical Devices, and More
3. Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist
4. Powering Up Body Language in Real Life: Projecting a Professional Persona When Pitching and Presenting
5. Digging Deep into the EDITS System
6. Defeat Self-Defeating Behaviors
The WINNERS will be drawn at 9:00 Mountain Time tonight. I’ll post the winners on the blog about 9:20 Mountain Time.
PLEASE KEEP READING.
BRENDA NOVAK’S DIABETES AUCTION!
NYT Bestseller, Brenda Novak, donates an amazing chunk of her life to fundraising for diabetes research. She selflessly gives months of her energy, creativity, and what would have been writing time, family time, self-time to her DIABETES AUCTION.  For writers – it’s a warm-your-heart win-win. Bid on one of the hundreds of items – support diabetes research and you may win an experience that changes your life. A plotting lunch with an agent or NYT bestseller at a national conference could contribute to a contract for you.   If you're not familiar with this auction -- it's a gold mine for writers!   My husband and I love to support the Diabetes Auction. With over 1000 donations, if I don’t mention our donations . . . you might miss them.   Yikes – a Missed Opportunity!  Margie’s Donations:  1. A set of six Lecture Packets  2. A 50 page Triple Pass Deep Edit Critique   3. Registration for a Write At Sea Master Class by Marge Lawson on Deep Editing Power, April, 2011. Donation by Margie Lawson and Julia Hunter
1. A FLYING GETAWAY FOR TWO   You select the destination – any place within 600 nautical miles from Denver.
A weekend, you and a friend, plus my pilot-husband flying our four-seater plane, me, a night in a hotel, and a two-hour deep editing consult. The consult is on the ground, not while we’re flying. ;-))  5. Registration for an IMMERSION MASTER CLASS session!  A $450 value . . .   The three-day Immersion Master Class sessions are designed as a personalized, hone-your-manuscript experience focusing on deep editing. The sessions are held in Margie’s log home at the top of a mountain west of Denver. Participants will concentrate on transforming their manuscript into a page-turner. The winner may attend a session in the fall of 2010 (depending on availability), or one of the four sessions offered in 2011.  THE DIABETES AUCTION runs from MAY 1ST to MAY 31ST. You can tour the Diabetes Auction site now. http://brendanovak.auctionanything.com/   Brenda Novak is my hero. What a way to give back.
Thank you for joining us today. I appreciate your time.
All the Best…………….Margie
www.MargieLawson.com

DEAR READERS: our hosting site was having issues with the “add comment” feature but it’s supposed to be fixed. If you can’t still post a comment, forward it to Carole by clicking on her email: carole.stlaurent@mac.com.
Thanks for your patience!

The Dynamic Eve Silver

Tue, 2 Feb 2010 08:35:39 -0500

By Sharon
We emerging writers are blessed by the generosity of other writers. While Carole defeats the self-defeating behaviours that stall us all and shares her reflections, I find myself renewed by her words. That is so often the way it goes.
I belong to the Toronto Romance Writers, a group of both highly successful and newbie writers. Every month, the TRW puts on a fabulous workshop that covers an aspect of writing and serves to leave me feeling charged.
January was no exception and brought us the dynamic Eve Silver to speak about perfect pacing and how to avoid the mistakes beginning writers make. Ms. Silver is a dedicated writer who takes her career seriously. With three book releases this summer; a daily writing schedule that begins well before sunrise and late into the night, she still managed to deliver a wealth of information with charisma and a smile on her face.
She drove home the point that no matter how you try, you will never please every reader, so you must be honest with yourself. A point, I thought, that translates to include the advice we often receive from our wonderful critique groups. One reader may love the dynamics between two characters while another is turned off. We have to be clear in the vision we have for our stories.
Pacing is important because the romance industry is looking for fast-paced books. I’d imagine it’s no different for other genres as well. I can’t give away all Ms. Silver’s know-how, but would like to share a few points she made. We should keep the pace fast at the beginning of the book of course, but also must consider the beginning of each chapter, each scene. That means being wary of back-story dump. We should be aware of each character’s history, but resist the urge to give chunks of information away.
I’ve found this particularly tricky when writing my first fantasy novel. Since the characters have lived many lives together, their history is an important aspect of the book and drives their behaviour. Over the course of their lives together, the heroine has become somewhat of a risk-taker which instigates the hero’s controlling ways. He can’t resist the temptation to intervene in her life and ‘save’ her, while neither are aware of the cycle that so far defeats them. Although wary of prologues, I’ve tried to show-not-tell this dynamic right from the start by writing a scene from one of their past lives. I hope it works.
To keep the pace moving, we also must consider the end of each scene and chapter as well as the book’s ending. A scene should never end with a character going to sleep, but should entice the reader to turn the page and read another chapter. Strive for bleary-eyed readers who are too caught up in the story to put it aside and get a good night’s sleep.
I’d also like to emphasize a point Ms. Silver made when covering the top ten mistakes beginning writers make. Finishing a manuscript is such a feat that when finally accomplished we may feel the need to take a break. She warns against this. It’s important to start right in on the next book. Write a book that stands alone and opens the most doors.
Now she tells me. I cringed when she said this thinking of how much time passed before I started my third manuscript. Procrastination, guilt, over-editing be gone. As emerging writers, we have to make writing a career choice, and the only way to fix a manuscript and sell a book is to get writing.
Thanks, Eve, for sharing your expertise and for the kick in the butt.
National bestselling, award-winning author Eve Silver writes dark contemporary paranormals and historical suspense. As Eve Kenin she writes speculative romance. Her work has garnered starred reviews from Publishers Weekly and Library Journal, Romantic Times Reviewers Choice Awards and was listed by Library Journal among its Best Books 2007. Watch for the OTHERKIN trilogy—Sins of the Heart; Sins of the Soul; Sins of the Flesh—coming summer 2010 from HQN.
Visit Eve at: www.evesilver.net

**Note—Special Guest Blog!!!

Please watch for next week’s blog on February 9th when we’ll have a special guest, Margie Lawson, who will focus on editing. Margie is fabulous! You won’t want to miss this.

Defeating Guilt

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 11:30:44 -0500

Two weeks ago, I wrote about procrastination. This week, it’s all about guilt. (If you want to read that article now, click here)
In terms of self-defeating behavior, guilt must be, in my book, the most insidious monster. It infiltrates the mind like a long and thin two-headed snake.
If procrastination is a huge dragon taking lots of space in my house, guilt wraps itself like a transparent ribbon around my psyche and slowly chokes my creativity. With its two heads, it can whisper negative thoughts in both ears at the same time.
To defeat that biggie, I had to take Margie Lawson’s class “How to Defeat your Self-Defeating Behavior” a second year in a row. Because guilt had roots inside me dating back to way before I decided to become a writer, I needed to be creative in defeating it.
Growing up, don’t ask me why because I’m don’t know, if the third neighbor fell and broke his leg, I thought I was somehow to blame. There was no rhyme or reason to it, I just felt that nagging feeling that maybe I could have done something to prevent that accident.
As you can see, guilt has roots going back to my childhood.
When we moved to the US, I quit my job and became a housewife, a stay-at-home mom, a non-remunerated writer.
For the first time in my life, I was not bringing in an income.
No one in my family said anything even remotely disparaging about my new situation. For them, it was the best opportunity for me to fulfill my dream: write my novel. They were cheering me on, and still are.
But the two headed guilt snake whispered softly in my ears: You have no income, the least you can do is clean the house. You should cook five-stars restaurant-like meals. Go to the gym, lose those fifteen pounds, what else do you have to do?
So on and so forth.
Each time I won against the procrastination dragon and sat down to write, the guilt snake would spew negativity into my soul.
This slowly came to a halt after I took Margie’s class last year. I learned how to slay procrastination. I learned how to muzzle, if not completely shut up, my guilt.
Getting rid of such a deeply rooted behavior is a long-term goal, and I would probably benefit from lying on a therapist’s couch. But there are steps I can take right now to help my creativity to soar.
Using my left brain is one: my third neighbor can break his leg and I know I have nothing to do with it. If I’m responsible for my own actions, so is everyone else.
Yes, I am not working outside my home, but it doesn’t mean my house needs to be like Home Magazine is here to take a picture.
Yes, I can go to the gym, not because I’ve nothing else to do, but because it’s healthy to do so.
Yes, I can cook great meals, but we can have simple fare too.
I learned to feed that two headed-snake just enough so it will leave me alone, to a point where I feel free to write and my guilt is assuaged.
Achieving balance is what helps me muzzle my guilt. It would be naive of myself to believe I can make it disappear, but I think I have it under control now. The negativity is gone and I can have fun writing.
Isn’t it what it’s all about? Let me know what you think: leave a comment!
I’m leaving you on another one of my favorite song, The Death of Me, by the rock group Red.
Next time, I will tackle another self-defeating behavior, one that makes myself my own worst enemy: a mixture of perfectionism/unrealistic goal-setting and overdoing.
Keep writing!

In Need of a Liquid Lunch

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:47:39 -0500

By Sharon

When my dear friend and critique partner Sherry Isaac was asked by the producer of Liquid Lunch to come and talk about emerging writers and the long road to publication, Sherry invited me along with her and Brandon Pitts. I’d talk about our blog, the discipline of working to a deadline, gaining a web presence, improving writing skills, establishing a voice, connecting with other writers/readers, workshops, TRW, that sort of thing.

Little did I know, the interview would focus on an area of my writing life that I hadn’t brain-stormed—my presence in the virtual world of Second Life. While Sherry meant well by bringing this up, talk-show host Hugh Reilly wasn’t interested so much in the writing aspects of Second Life. I can, however, attest Hugh has a great smile, and he milked this topic for all it was worth.

Since I was thrown by this unexpected subject matter, I fumbled for answers and thought I better take the time now to set the record straight. Many people don’t relate to having an avatar in a virtual world, and I understand that. To the 80,000 people online every moment worldwide in Second Life the appeal is very clear.

First off, writing is a solitary occupation. I need quiet and a closed door. To be productive means spending most of my time at a computer isolated from the real world. For the most part I have no problem with this, yet there is a part of me that misses the energy of other people.

During the month of November while I participated in NaNoWriMo, Second Life had a group of writers also in this competition. The NaNo sim (one of many writer’s meeting places) is themed after this competition where writers gather, talk about trials/tribulations, cheer each other on, discuss writing in general or sit together quietly and write. In seconds, I can connect with other writers who are struggling with the same issues—50,000 words in a month—arg!

This is only one of the numerous sims dedicated to writing. Many groups bring award-winning authors in to read from their latest releases and answer questions. Mike Stakepole, NYT best-selling author holds a forum every week to discuss anything writing related. The London School of Journalism as well as other organizations offer writing competitions. Poetry readings go on every moment of the day it seems. Podcasting is becoming big in-world (although I know little about this) and many authors, editors, publishing houses use Second Life to showcase their books or houses. There’s nothing virtual about book sales in world.

I could have focused more on how the endless creative settings can contribute to world-building in your novel. During NaNo, when my characters were lost in the woods, I put my avatar high on a mountain top in thick forest beside a crackling fire where the only sounds were trickling streams and the occasional bird call. The sounds and images help me to feel the scene around my characters and inspire words on the page.

I also could have mentioned (or perhaps I did, it was all a blur to me) how I’ve learned about other cultures and faiths, occupations and relationships, geography and history from the diverse people I’ve met. I’ve attended lectures on art, philosophy, fashion, astrology and religion to name a few that contributes to my character building.

Second Life is not strictly a fun and games time-waster, but be fore-warned, people I meet there all say the same thing—they had no idea how much fun this could be.

I must end by saying that although the Liquid Lunch segment took me by surprise and Hugh Reilly had me blushing, the interview was a great learning experience. I want to thank the producer for the opportunity to speak (somewhat) about writing, and thanks, Sherry, for inviting me along.

I’ll even be brave and share the details if you’d like to watch the interview. Sherry and Brandon came off very professional! Please listen for their announcement of public readings going on monthly at Prana Coffee Bar in Etobicoke. There’s one tonight!

Find the interview at: www.thatchannel.com Look for podcast archives, Liquid Lunch, January 12, 2010.

Image is Hugh Reilly from Liquid Lunch

Why isn’t my Book Finished? Or how to fight procrastination.

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:46:23 -0500

By Carole

This a series of three articles I’ll be posting regarding my self-defeating behaviors. I’ll address the three dragons that keep me from finishing my novel. I’ll offer solutions to slay them. I’ll build an arsenal of weapons to keep them at bay.
PROCRASTINATION
My first dragon is procrastination. Procrastination affects everyone, in every aspects of life. How many time have I left a bill laying on my desk until I received another saying I was late paying? Not that I didn’t have the money. I just procrastinated.
There are odes written to procrastination. Why do something now when it can be done tomorrow? Hakuna Matata! While that sounds laid back and fun, issues pile up and stress builds up.
Oh, yes. One of the side effect of procrastination is stress. Ignored matters leave a part of themselves in your brain when they are not addressed in a timely manner. Those parts grow every day, putting pressure in your cerebrum until a headache brings you to your knees.
Then, a whirlwind of negativity sucks you in. I’ll never finish that book... I’m no good... I can’t put a foot in front of the other one... Why did I even think I could do this?... I should just forget about it...
Does that sound familiar?
WHEN THE DRAGON ALMOST WON
In 2008, procrastination almost did me in.
At the end of 2008, I became real discouraged, especially after a writing conference I went to with Sharon. Every writer I met had at least one completed manuscript. Why couldn’t I finish mine?
Sharon convinced me not to abandon writing. Glowing under her praise, I decided to give it another try. In January 2009, I took an online class offered by Margie Lawson, titled “How to Defeat Self-Defeating Behaviors”. It saved my writing career. No kidding. Okay, maybe I should say, it saved my future writing career.
It’s January 2010, so why do I still NOT have a finished manuscript? Well, I had a lot of dragons to slay last year. And I made a lot of progress. My writing has improved, my plots are more logical, and this year, I feel ready to finally write “the end”.
I still had a few dragons to take care of, so I took Margie’s class again this month. Some dragons need more than one blow to die. Some will twitch for a long time. Some will never die.
KILLING PROCRASTINATION
Getting rid of a bad habit is hard work. It’s inconvenient. It’s painful. The first step is to accept those facts. Because if you don’t, nothing will change.
Procrastination’s best weapons are excuses. Many excuses. A ton of them! My best ones: I don’t have enough time. I can’t start writing now, I have to do X in thirty minutes. I have a big house and I need to keep it clean. I need to start dinner.
Any excuses will feed procrastination and keep the beast content. As long as you don’t sit down at that desk and don’t write, procrastination is laughing.
Weapons can have a double edge. That’s what I learned in my class. I have only thirty minutes before I hit the road? What can be done in that window? I can write a short scene, or create a character, revise my last five pages, read an article on writing, list the next subjects I want for my blog...
E-x-c-u-s-e me? That’s right, no more excuses to NOT write during that thirty minutes before I leave!
Big house? Roomba is a woman’s best friend. It will vacuum while I sit at my desk.
Dinner? When I cook this afternoon, I can prep ingredients for tomorrow’s dinner.
Every excuse CAN be waved away. And what’s left? My strong resolution to finish my book. Take that, procrastination! Each time you hit me with an excuse, I’ll hit you right back with a solution!
REMEMBERING
The last resort I have to counterattack the monster is to remember how I feel when I procrastinate versus when I just do it. When I write, when those characters whisper to me, when eye opener moments appear on the next page, it feels... Well, it feels great. Magical. It’s elating, euphoric, better than drugs!
And when I don’t write, when I let the monster win, I feel depressed, negative, I have no energy and everything seems too difficult.
Next time procrastination raises its sword at me, I’ll try to remember how good it feels to defeat it. I’ll parry and hit back with a solution.
Self-defeating behaviors live inside of us. But there are solutions and as long as we have the will, we have the weapons to kill them.
The next self-defeating behavior I’ll address is guilt. And that one is a two-headed monster!
I’m leaving you with a video music of one of my favorite group, Skillet. The subject is so pertinent, I swear that song was written for me! Enjoy.
Did my article echoed something in your own life? Please tell me, leave a comment below!