Sometimes, the biggest thing to self discipline is just knowing yourself and being honest with yourself.  It is funny to think of us lying and being deceptive to our own selves- but we are all the time.  How many times have you said to yourself (AND believed it), “I will do it later”, “I will do it tomorrow”... there is a part of you that does know that you are lying, but it is just so easy to believe that we can change on a whim.  That our past patterns of our lives are not fixed but can vary with little effort- that THIS time it will be different.  NOPE.  (Not without a lot of effort, that is).

I just had this thought play through my mind since this weekend, I had a moment of triumph of knowing myself.  This weekend, my best friend in the whole wide world got married!  Sarah Graber has officially become Sarah Campe.  It makes me smile to think it since I adore them both.  But, I am in the middle of a training block and could not take the days off completely.  I had to ride saturday AM before the wedding and had a hard ride scheduled on Sunday.  With all my traveling, it has been hard to get in good training blocks and so I could not just skip out on the training this weekend.  Saturday was easy- the wedding was up in Three Rivers, CA- just outside Sequoia National Park and one of my favorite places.  Gorgeous!  Riding up to Sarah and Luke’s house was a good ride and then I got the pleasure of spending a leisurely morning with my best friend before she officially got married.  Ride to the hotel, shower and then get to spend the rest of the afternoon with her getting ready.  Great day!

The wedding was great too- relaxed, hippish and just fun!  I had to forgo drinking too much, but happily danced the night away in my not-quite practical but damn cute shoes.  We had a brunch the next day at 10- so that night, as I went back to the hotel- I had thought to myself that I would sleep in and then go to the brunch, ride in the afternoon at 1 or so and then drive home (5 hours or so) that night.  Luckily though, around midnight when I was just about to hit the bed and pass out with exhaustion, I looked at my training plan and realized that I didn’t just have a 3 hour day... I had a HARD three hour day!  I had a bunch of 2 minute all out intervals.  I know myself... I know that I was not going to want to ride my bike after hanging out all morning with my best friend and a bunch of people who I adore and have not seen in years.  If I had an easy bike love day... yes.  Intervals?  NO WAY!  Sigh.  The conflict.  I was not going to miss the brunch and a chance to hog more time from one of my favorite people on earth, but I had to work.  This is my job and I can’t just flake on it. 

This is where knowing myself paid off- I didn’t do what I was tempted to do at first- lie to myself and think that I could ride in the afternoon.  Not only would it be hot and I would have low motivation, but it would keep me from enjoying the time that I got with Sarah, Luke and their friends and family in the morning.  If I had that hanging over me, I would be glancing at my watch, stressing and just knowing that I had to take care of it which would keep me from relaxing completely and enjoying time with my best friend.  NOT what I wanted to do.  I realized that if I rode in the morning, I would be a little late, but that I would be more relaxed and enjoy my time all that much more.   I set the alarm for 6:15AM and was on my bike by 6:45.  I don’t like to get up early, but always enjoy it when I do... I was rewarded with an incredible ride through the park in the early morning air with no one there!

Despite not drinking the night before- all out efforts after a night of fun and dancing is still hard.  I cannot imagine how much I would have been fighting the bike had I not been honest with myself and known that I was not being realistic.  As it happened, I had a great (HARD) workout AND had a great time at the brunch too.  Worked out perfectly!  But clearly, I am not always so honest with myself or I would not be making a big deal out of this!  It is amazing how easily we can deceive ourselves- and how much we do it all the time.  This was one of the times that I caught myself and changed in time!

The moral of the story?  Don’t lie to yourself.  Be honest about what you can and cannot do.  It saves you from the guilt of beating yourself up for not meeting unrealistic expectations.