I am a desperate housewife.  I have four children, one of which doubles as my husband from 8-5.  I hang  around in my pajamas all day, not because I lack hygienic skills, but because I am a human napkin to three boys.  Depending on the moment, I may also be a human jungle gym or human pillow.  Basically, I’m a human mess.

Things you may not know about me:

1. 1. I am a recovering Germ-a-Phobe mom to three boys with inaccurate urinary aiming skills.
   

2. 2. I can catch vomit in my hands while mostly asleep and not lose a single drop.
   

3. 3. I lack the ability to arm fart.
   

4. 4. I did not know what an arm fart was until I had sons.
   

5. 5. I can man-handle any type of bodily discharge unless in contains partially digested hot dogs.
   

Before you take pity on me, please realize that I chose to be here.  And that I love my crazy life.